Wishing on.. *fill in appropriate word*

So here's the thing. I believe in wishes. I'll give you a few seconds to judge, then I will continue.
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Right, time's up! So, yes, wishes. I have always believed in wishing on eyelashes and birthday candles. I may or may not have tried to steal other kids' birthday wishes too, I'm just saying.. Not the point. 

I was sitting in the park with my friend. It was dark and we were looking up at the sky. I would say starry sky but the pollution levels of the 21st century prevent me. The irony of this whole scenario is, the both of us are well aware of how futile it is to look for stars, but that is what we were doing. We saw on airplane. Well, the blinking light of one. And then it occoured to me, instead of staring up every night, hoping to spot a shooting star, or even a star for that matter I  would rather wish on airplanes. 

No, not because it is easier, but because it makes more sense to do so. Times are changing, people are evolving and now as sad as it is, being able to see stars are a luxury. Airplanes on the contrary are as easily sighted as shooting stars in the early 18th century. 
One more thing to keep in mind is that, as people we need to evolve from wishing on natural phenomenons. 

I didn't write this article to justify wishing on airplanes, I wrote it so that I could speak about wishes in general. No wish is truly impossible to achieve. For example, I have wished for mostly material things and sometimes for the happiness of near and dear ones. The thing about these wishes is that I don't necessarily have to have a magic wand for them to be granted. I can work for them myself. And these thoughts are exactly what makes me believe in wishes. They are not as unrealistic as a genie in a bottle. They are simple things. Really simple things. 

Let me express this in better words. Consider a shooting star or your eyelash as a vessel. When you make a wish you add something to these vessels. And then you send them away to the great beyond where you hope these wishes will come true. The next time you do this, think of it like this, Your wish is a goal. It is as significant to you as an item in your to-do list. Everytime you wish on something that is sent to the great beyond, consider it being sent to your future. 

I know I sound like I am all tipsy and probably had one too many glasses of wine, but believe me that is not the case. Right now I am struggling to express my thoughts because what I am talking about is something that I can't make sense of myself. I find these thoughts very complicated to comprehend, sometimes they end up giving me a headache. Okay, let us pick up where we left off, your vessel is in the future. Now what? Now, you look for it. If it were that easy to get what you wished for then you might as well believe that one day you might find a genie. You made a wish, and then in your future you looked around for it and when you found it, you felt really content. 

Content about what you ask? Content about the fact that in this whole wide world you alone are capable of achieving things that you so desperately desire. When I say alone, I say it assuming that you know that you are not supposed to tell anyone what you wished for. And if that is not it, then maybe content about knowing that somehow you know yourself well enough to wish for things that you can truly get.

If you are one of those people who just don't believe in wishes because "they never come true." Then, I would like to ask you, did you bother searching for your wish? Because when I say it is in the future I don't mean it awaits you in 20-30 years from now, I mean that it can come true in the very next second too. All you need to do is believe.

To conclude this very complicated thought that I tried phrasing in extremely easy words and failed miserably, I would like to say that starting now, I suggest you start wishing. Wishing on stars, scars, eyelashes, trains from under a bridge, birthday candles, dandelion fuzz or even airplanes for that matter.

Basic concepts for a revolution

You know how I write articles about letting women and girls be themselves, wear whatever they want and do what pleases them, and in the midst of all this I just assume that people will understand that it is applicable for both the genders? Well, you will be surprised to know that people lack the basic brains to understand this concept. I am just really angry at the moment, so I am apologizing before beginning. This article may get a little aggressive.

And also, boys, I am so sorry that I didn't realize that people are actually stupid enough to not understand these very basic concepts. I'm sorry that I didn't write this article earlier. Just so sorry.

*sigh.* Let me try my best to say this in the nicest way possible. 

STOP CALLING YOUR SELF FEMINISTS IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!  IT IS NOT ONLY ABOUT UPLIFTING WOMEN BUT ALSO ABOUT EQUALITY, AND HOW ARE YOU CONTRIBUTING TO THIS IF ALL YOU DO IS SET NEW SOCIAL NORMS FOR BOYS WHILE BREAKING THE OLD ONES FOR GIRLS?!

I know, there is one question that is probably nagging you right now. What made me so mad? Well, to be really honest I have been hearing things like "kpop is gay." and that kpop idols look gay. And frankly speaking, I was pretty immune to it. Like 'haters gonna hate' kind of a deal. But then, one day I was telling my bestfriend about my undying love for Jeon Jungkook and she says "no offense but, he looks gay." And no, I am not mad at her, but what she said made me realize that it's not 'haters gonna hate' that makes people call kpop idols gay, it's actually the very very stupid social norms they have hardwired in their stupid brains. I'm sorry, that sounds rude. but in my defense I warned you before I began. 

Also, I wouldn't be this mad if it was just that she had said, but oh no. This is what happened. I sent her the photos. She said he looked gay. I said, you can't judge his face, he is a different ethnicity and not all good looking guys look like Westerners or Europeans or even hunky, bearded Indian men. She then says, that it is not the face, it is his body language. Firstly, however did this genius person manage to decipher the body language of a person from a photograph?! Secondly, gay people don't have a different body language, they are normal people who like people of the same gender. That's it. really, that's all there is to it, I am so sorry to disappoint you. And then she says his earrings make him look gay. So, according to this logic, girls have the right to wear whatever they want, but it is somehow not applicable for boys? And lastly, she says he looks like 'hoshiyaar khan' who was transgender in a tv show. And that royally pissed me off. She does not know the difference between transgenders and gays. 

Now now, I don't hate her, neither do I blame her, it is okay to not know. In fact right now, all I want is her forgiveness for including the above paragraph. The thing is, I really cannot deal with this. It angers me. Really angers me. Boys should be allowed to be themselves. It is a very basic right. Let's call it the right to expression.

 A boy can wear makeup, know why? Because makeup is not girly, it is to enhance the facial features. To highlight certain details of the face. And since, boys and girls both have faces, both of them can use makeup.

Earrings too. They are pieces of jewelry. Everyone has a right to wear those too. If boys are "allowed" to wear bracelets and chains, then they sure as hell are allowed to wear earrings. 

Looks. Let's be real. No one looks flawless. No face is girly, no face is manly. A face is just a face. A face is simply bones, muscles and some important sense organs together to help make life easier. 

Body language is again not different for different genders. I mean, if you can all fight about letting a girl sit the way she wants and walk the way she wants, its okay for boys to do the same too.

Lastly, the word 'gay' is not an adjective. it is someone's sexuality. And if that is a big word to absorb then treat it like another gender. So, the next time you want to call someone or something 'gay' think of it like this: "That picture is so boy" or "That boy is so girl." Doesn't make sense? Well, neither does calling someone gay for no reason. Or to be more specific neither does calling someone gay because they don't fit into your ideal type of 'boy' or 'girl'

And as I conclude this little venom spewing, too bitter to swallow and really rude article, I will like to leave all of you with one thought: Everyone wants change, but are we really working towards change if we are breaking out of social norms only to impose them on someone else?

Being addicted to the K-pop drug.

Hi! I am back! My exams are over and I can finally write! Okay, so although I am not being totally honest, my exams have been over for a while now its just I didn't feel like writing. Anyways, let me just start with this article. 

K-pop. What is K-pop? Well, it stands for Korean pop and it is addictive, that's why I am calling it a drug.  People will wonder, how can someone be addicted to music in such a manner that it starts to actually become harmful? I have no answer to that question. It is what it is. K-pop is a totally different type of music genre its not like your plain ol' vanilla pop it is way better and if I am being totally honest, I don't understand most of it. 

Before I start voicing my various theories on the genre let me first walk you through how I got addicted to it. (it may get a little dramatic)

Some time in November, 2017: The day it all began.

The day started as any other day, little did I know that this was the day, my life would change forever. I never knew of the evils that lurk in the darkness of this world. I never thought that I would ever be a part of that dark world.  It could never occur to me that my own best friend could do something like that to me. She sashayed into my house with her ancient mobile phone and forced me to listen to these demonic group called BTS. I hated it, and if I could go into the past right now I would go and slap myself really hard for hating it.

Mid December, 2017 : The first time it hit me.

After she introduced me to this dangerous drug that drove me to the brink of losing my sanity. I came face to face with terms like "bias", I never felt the need to use words like that because I had never been faced with picking a favorite. I had started understanding the mesmerizing language of these demons from hell. I had also come to understand that these demons disguised as angels to fool the innocent. I had started singing along.

January, new year: The drug is changing me.

I never thought I will say this, but they make me want to dance. They make me want to learn their dance choreographies. On New Year's eve all I wanted to do was dance to their songs. I couldn't bring myself to dance to anything else including 'Despacito'. Everyone dances to that song, but not me. I craved 'Blood, Sweat and Tears' by BTS.

Mid January, 2018: I get introduced to a new drug 'English Speakeu.'

I think it has finally happened. I, Annie has finally cracked. I found myself watching BTS speaking english, and blushing. Yes, I blushed. Those boys make me smile. They have changed everything I thought I knew about myself. It is not normal anymore. It is unhealthy. If I don't make it, just know that I never intended it to go this far.

February, 2018: I think I have forgotten english.

If  not forgotten, then most definitely forgotten how to speak it without it sounding like Korean. The way I speak sounds like Korean, my accent has been affected. 

mid Februry,2018: Withdrawal symptoms.

I thought of getting over it, I couldn't. It made me cranky, I tried, I really did. I didn't want to be addicted anymore. This is beyond my control. I can't put up with this anymore. I think I will go back to it. 

March, 2018: I now know who I love.

It came to me slowly, but now, I know that I am in love with Jungkook. Things will never be the same again, he has affected me in so many ways. He is perfect. In fact I don't think I will ever like any other boy. I don't find any guys from my country attractive anymore. My standards have become higher, if speaking to me was difficult earlier, it's impossible now. All I know is that Jungkook is the one for me, no one else.

Yay! So, now you know my journey, although highly exaggerated, it gives a little idea of what K-pop does to people, or rather what it did to me.

Here are my various observations:

1. It is marketed as a very innocent genre:

Very rarely have I found any song about any dark, shady topic, there is no song with abusive words in it, no song about sex or drugs or any other thing that may become really awkward to listen to in the presence of your parents.

 Speaking of innocent, the idols also maintain a very boy-like or girl-like personality. They dress in clothes that make them look cute and innocent rather than hot. What I love about K-pop is that the guys don't try to become hunky and "manly" the way Harry Styles or Niall Horan just changed. The little boy personalities really suited them.

2. The lyrics are beautiful rather than just being meaning less.

The song lyrics are genuinely beautiful, they have meaning and depth and more often than not are about addressing some social issue. Another thing I love about it is that body positivity is a topic that boy bands sing about and not just girl groups. In my opinion it is really important to talk about it, I mean the beauty industry is everywhere and is doing what it does best, making beautiful people insecure about what their looks, and in a world like this it is really important that people who have a large fan base talk about getting over these issues.

3. They dance.

Their dance routines are wow. They are not like any average pop star who doesn't dance, just holds a mic and sings. They dance. I really respect that, their routines are super tough and they sing while dancing and they still don't breathe heavily. Their singing doesn't show that they are possibly really tired because of their dancing.

4. They are humble. So humble.

All of them work so hard, but consider themselves no better than their fans. They live like ordinary people rather than rich, bratty pop stars and that is something you don't get to see very often. They talk about working hard and not being good enough in their live streams, they say that what they do is no big deal and that they should work harder. I am in awe of these people.

That aside, just between you and me, I have realized that I know these people so well, I know exactly what their personalities are and who they are, although I have never in my life met these people or spoken to them. That is the power of the Internet. 

Before I wind up, let me tell you who my favorite groups are and who all are my bias.

1. BTS

bias: Jungkook

2. Got7

bias: Mark Tuan

3. Big Bang

bias: G Dragon

4. T ARA

bias: Boram

Also, some song recommendations:

Blood, sweat and tears by BTS

Lie by Jimin

Bang bang bang by big bang

Sugar free by T ARA

Ice cream cake by red velvet

Never ever by Got7

Literally anything by BTS

Overall, why some people hate K-pop is beyond me. 

K bye. 

A rant on hypocrisy

So, the other day I was watching this movie where this unique and rare species is scared of humans and stay away from them, and then their little child come along and is oh so wowed by humans and has to go explore and be a 'part of their world' and this child's entire family is like "Son naw, you don't want to" But the adamant little brat doesn't listen and ends up in a mess and somehow the mess is sorted, and the kid ends up being right...? WHOA!! I did not see that coming! Anyway, if you haven't guessed it yet, the movie is 'Ratatouille.' 

And while watching, I realized this is such a common trope, majorly all our kid movies are based on this! Be it Ariel's life or Nemo going to touch the boat.  It really surprises me that as kids we are made to watch movies about being the rebellious offspring and then when we behave in that sort of manner, adults blame the generation and the new and improved technology, yeah. Convenient. Real convenient.

Okay, I understand that these movies are for teaching us that 'new' is good. But really though? We live in a generation full of hypocrites, this world that makes movies promoting change and the adults with their message of 'damn these kids with their new generation ideas, back in my day...' 

I really hate it when people so proudly claim that something is bad and somehow manage to completely overlook the fact that they do that thing all the time! For example,  

Person A: I hate it when people honk for no reason during a 
                 traffic problem, like it solves anything.

Person A *Blowing the car horn as if it were the snooze button on an alarm clock that won't shut up on a Monday morning during a traffic jam* ; You see what I mean? Sometimes you have to blare                           that horn to tell them to clear the road, who cares                               that a truck is turned over?


And it is just so horrible! Sometimes people have to understand that branding the trendy stuff is not necessary. That things are popular for a reason, No one likes things that are useless. There are people who are ready to appreciate the newness of certain thing and it is not that hard to become adaptive, I mean if Simba can live on worms and 'Hakuna Matata' his way to happiness then so can humans. 
Another thing about hypocrites is that they make it a point that their completely unsolicited opinion is voiced, however unnecessary it may be.  It almost makes me wish I carried duct tape around rather than my glasses. 

And you know, in conclusion what I would like to say is 'Lego House'  by Ed Sheeran is one beautiful song.

Ba-bye until next time I get really upset about something.~ A

the art of letting go.

So, its been a while since I wrote.  What can I say? I've been lazy..? does that help as justification? 

Anyways, today we will be talking about the art of letting go.
My friend recently understood that some people in her life are not good for her. They weigh her down and cause a lot of emotional turmoil to her. And I realised, that not only her but also I face this problem. In fact I think nearly everyone does.

A POINT TO BE NOTED. JUST BECAUSE I AM PROVIDING YOU WITH PROPER STEPS ON HOW TO FORGET PEOPLE DOES NOT MEAN YOU GO AROND TOSSING PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR LIFE LIKE THEY ARE TRASH.

Anyhoo. People think that letting go is all about forgetting. its not. Letting go is about realising that whatever memories you share with a person are real. But the person is not anymore. Obviously the person has changed and that is the reason you want to leave them. Say for example, X used be a great friend of yours and suddenly X starts talking to you horribly and treats you in a horrid manner and is indifferent to your feelings, then X has got to go.

So, the question remains, how does one actually let go?

Simple actually not that simple. Firstly, you need to do the very thing everyone is bad at doing. Stop thinking about those memories! The more you think of them, the more flowery and rainbowy they become and they make you feel bad about your present. You keep living a life that doesn't exist anymore. Frankly, you start living in the past. And believe me when I say this, that is one place you do not want to live in. And thinking about this, Dante's hell should have been the past, present and future rather than what it is now. I mean, these can be more suitable to punish the sinners. Make them think about their past actions and make them understand how wrong they were and how badly their past affects their present and that they should fear the consequences in the future. Wait... THAT IS HOW LIFE WORKS!  anyway coming back to the topic.

Dante's hell

You can also try to let go by finding new people. Start getting to know more people and sooner or later you will be over the person.

Or you can think about how they hurt you over and over till you actually start loathing them and are fuelled by the motive to destroy them. The choice is yours. 

Another thing you can do is think about happy stuff. What makes you happy. Spend time doing things that make you happy or divert your mind away from 'he who shall no be named' no, not Voldemort. 

Letting go is a path to self discovery. It is to understand what you are capable of and how you can achieve all of it. It will give you deep understanding of exactly how much power you hold and the places where you are weak. You can then either work on them or leave them be, again, your decision. 

I guess that is all for today, have a great day. Bye :)

Memories and all about them.

I came across this post while scrolling through Instagram that said "It's sad when people who gave you the best memories, become a memory"  and, since inspiration can be found anywhere, I am writing about this. 
And just to shed some light on my mood at the moment, I have "I'll make a man out of you" from Mulan playing in the background and am totally in love with "Look what you made me do" by Taylor Swift. 
Anyhoo just to add some more, follow me on Instagram, I go by the username @maskedhellion I would justify it some other day not right now. Now I have diverted enough from the topic, so let's get down to business to defeat the Huns!  I'm sorry I'm done! 

So, okay.. memories. Let me start by saying, all the memories you have are really exaggerated! Your brain has this annoying system of filtering out the bad stuff and discarding it, pretty much like Joy in the movie Inside out, focusing only on the good stuff. And, yes there is no issue when this happens, but you see, as humans we tend to recollect memories when we are  sad, and these extremely distorted versions of the moments you want to recollect just make you sadder.  They don't really solve their purpose, mainly because they don't have one. I guess it's safe to conclude that memories are as a matter of fact a lot like fidget spinners; solve no purpose because they have no purpose. I will criticize fidget spinners some other time, eventhough that would make me a hypocrite, I already own one. 

Now that we have got the concept of memories all cleared out for us, let us talk about the quote. We will try to decipher the meaning that is so intricately been put in it, and once that is done, I shall give my opinion regarding it.

The first part says "Its sad when people.." So, it has already been implied that the reader has to interpret it in a "aww the person left" and not in a " hey! That person made me really happy!" The word 'sad' sets the mood you are supposed to read it in. It also proves me right when I say that humans are stupid creatures who bother recollecting memories only when they are facing a major emotional issue.  Then it also gives importance to people, and yes, I like that because memories can never be objects, they can be contained in objects, but never be one. You cannot miss a box of cards because you like cards, you miss that particular box because of who gave it to you, or who you shared it with. 

Moving to the next part "who gave you the best memories..." This suggests that the people we are talking about were really close to us. That they were important, that we were able to understand them and also that they were really similar to us, which is quite obvious really, because you can't create memories with just anyone, you share them with someone who is a mirror image of you. But, what bothers me here is the usage of the word 'gave' because no one really gives you memories, you create them. They are yours and are not given by people, you decide what makes you happy and term it as a memory, and other moments you discard, in other words forget.

Next we have " become a memory." So when I read this line,  a bunch of people flashed through my mind, and yes, it is disheartening to remember that so many are gone but it is also important to understand that they are never truly gone, you may not talk but the person you are today is an amalgamation of all the qualities that belong to the people you meet along the way. I like how this ended because the word "become" clearly suggests that the memory that breaks our heart at the word is the product of our own thoughts. That it is our own creation. And most importantly, what is created can always be destroyed. But, when I say destroyed I don't mean you kill the memory, I mean to go back to the first line of our quote, to the particular word 'sad'. I want to say that you can destroy the sadness you have created while recollecting this memory.

All of this brings us to the ultimate question, what are we to do with memories? And as much as I would love to answer that question, I can't. You see, I don't know either, I'd love to but I don't. All I can say regarding that matter is, although we I may not have an answer to that question...yet, memories make us human. Sometimes they make us sad, sometimes glad and sometimes makes us feel suicidal, but in the end, those super exaggerated versions of our life teach us. The sad ones remind us that we are stronger than what troubles us at present, that we are survivors. The happy ones tell us that the person we are sharing it with means something to you and that they are a vital part of your life, and considering the time people recollect memories, you probably fought with this person, and so now you have to go and sort it all out before it is too late. The ones that make you feel suicidal, all I can say about them are that either they are very good or very bad, if the latter you need to understand that you can survive it and it will make you stronger, if the former then it means that things have changed between you and the person you shared it with, and you can't help but miss the past; here all I can say is that you should talk to this person, maybe they feel the same, maybe things will turn out to be better and just maybe all these doubts were just your insecurities and everything is okay.

That's all for today folks! See you next time when I get enough matter on the justification of my Instagram username or how utterly useless fidget spinners are, till then adieu!

And just because this will be really boring to read without a picture, here's a man riding a chicken.  

Always remember it's "garbage can", not "garbage cannot"!

Aloha people! Today we will talk about you! You Garbage! You disgusting piece of garbage! Felt bad? Hated the fact that me, a complete stranger had the audacity of calling you that? Well, what about the times you say all this to yourself ? It's time you stop calling yourself that! Let's keep this a light read, I won't go in too much depth, just like a little summary, no details, no assumptions, just facts (pro'lly)

Reasons to stop:

• Leave something for the haters
• Learn to love yourself
• Treat yourself no less than a queen or king
• Respect yourself.

Good effects of not being garbage:

• You will be a happier person
• You might get more people to surround you
• You wouldn't bother about people calling you names because you will know yourself.
• You will realize your true potential when you stop demotivating yourself.

Now, with that being made clear. Let me share with you a story.

So, during the last few months of my ninth grade I practically isolated myself from all my classmates, actually everyone in general. And while I was working on myself, a lot of people started calling me a lot of things. I was so accustomed to the buzz that followed me wherever I went, that it made me doubt my decisions. I thought of socializing again, just so that they'd just stop! It made me so sad and I started hating myself for the inability to make effective decisions. And just before I was about to socialize, came the beautiful angel who slapped me back into reality. I sit with her now. She didn't really say anything regarding the topic, but understood me really well, and started talking to me, instead of me having to approach her, she approached me. She wanted to talk to me unlike all those who talked of me behind my back. The faith that I lost in my decision making, restored itself back in me. I decided that instead of getting lost in blaming myself, calling me all the things that people say about me and being my own enemy, I would rather be my own person. I would know myself, be clear in stating what I want or don't want. What I agree with, what I don't. Say what I want to, not giving two hoots about what people think about it, and whether it's politically or emotionally incorrect. It is what I feel. It is right for to me, my thoughts are flawless for me! I am not garbage, dumb or trashy for thinking my thoughts and believing what I want to. Not knowing answers to questions doesn't make me dumb. Not knowing things that others know doesn't make me stupid. It makes me human. It makes me, me.

 

And while I mentioned about my little angel, let me not refrain from sharing all the others that helped me (it might as well give you some idea on what people you matter to sound like, and give me a chance to express my gratitude.) I will not be taking any names though. I might just give them letters.

• My bestfriend, A who although doesn't meet me now a days but is still in touch with me over the phone.
• My other bestfriend, B who has an english paper tomorrow, she is the girl who fuels my 'angry teenager' spirit. She should be studying, but I know for certain she is on YouTube at the moment. She supported me when I felt miserable about myself for not being like others, and now thanks to her I have never been more happier with myself.
• My third and hopefully last bestfriend (for I find it really cumbersome to type 'bestfriend' again and again). He is supposed to be C, but I'd like to call him P. P for piggy. That's what I call him. And no, its not like affectionate 'piggy' its more like 'filthy-swine-piggy'. P has stayed with me through thick and thin, been there when I feel bad about myself, and even when I'm not (just to make me feel bad about myself by calling me a buffalo.) 
• My friend C, who although seldom talks to me (because he is 'oh so popular, living his too glam to give a damn' life) but is always there whenever I open my lunchbox.  He knows how to make me smile when all I want to do is shut myself up in a box and cry. In the comparison of people who are with you when you are having a great life but leave when you are miserable and people who are rarely there but seem to magically appear to help you, he'd be the latter. 

That'd be all. But of course can't end this article without thanking my mother. Who although is Satan most times is also my greatest strength and support system. I would be a depressed lunatic running about the streets if it weren't for her.

Hope you learnt a little something about calling yourself garbage. However if you are more comfortable in addressing yourself as garbage, always remember

"It's always 'garbage can', not 'garbage cannot'."

A simple guide to friends.

Hi all! I am back with another post! And just like most of my articles, this one will also be related to social issues that we face a lot of times. I have noticed that people are sad because they think they don't have friends. Not entirely true, so that's why today I will help you categorize your friends.

1. Recognize your importance.

Imagine, this colourful bubble is you, each colour represents a part of your personality. Then there are the two moods that Bubble feels. Happy and sad. When Bubble is happy, it as bright as the sun, with it radiating light. When Bubble is sad it becomes a blobby grey cloud. There are also certain amount of people who dearly love Bubble. Now, it is important for Bubble to realize that people who are with Bubble only when she is happy and radiates light, are the fake people. And those who are with Bubble even when she is sad, are the people who actually care about her. Bubble should never part with them.

2.The messy table logic.

To help you understand better, there are two types of people, people who matter, and people who are the trash in your life and are just occupying space. The trashy people are toxic for you, because they are either there for you when you don't need them to actually be there, or are entirely not there for you, in both cases they are not good for you.

                                                        

Visualize your social circle as a messy table. You need to clean it. And like every time you clean a table, you will have to discard of certain items, you will keep some for decoration and there will be things that you will actually need. 

I have divided these into three categories.

1. Trash
2. Golden trash
3. Golden friends.

So, now elaborating further. The trash are the people that you don't really need and all they do is make you sad and hurt your feelings. You hold onto them because you either don't realize how harmful they are or you are too lazy to get rid of them. But, it is time that they leave. Just how Garbage rots and causes diseases, these people too, rot and make you sick.


Next we have Golden trash. These are the people who don't affect you as much as Trash but, are not good for you. You hold onto them because you think that they will come in handy sometime, that they will be loyal when needed, but they aren't. Just like trash they are occupying space, that is all. It may be difficult to part with them and that is because you think that they are going to be with you forever. They aren't.

Golden friends. These people will actually be there for you, and you can count on them no matter what. A person generally has two to three golden friends, not more. Others are just trash, rid yourselves of them.

An important note: When I say rid yourself of the trashy people, I DON'T mean that you should fight with them.

The more you clean your messy table the more place you will have for new trash and probably some Golden friends. Then you clean again. It's a continuous cycle.

That is all for today! Hope it helps! Also, before I go, please do share my article and you can also subscribe, all you have to do is put your email id in the "never miss a post" section. It is really easy and once you have subscribed you wouldn't even have to type in the URL everytime, you can read the articles on your mail! And now ba-bye!

Being you.

Hi again.. hope you still read my blog. I know it's been a while, and I will not hesitate one bit in trying to tell you why. 

So, firstly a few days after I had written my previous article, I went on a family trip to Gujarat which is a state in India. And oh my god! The entire experience was just amazing and it would take me probably years to elaborate, so let me summarize it with the help of a few words. Heritage. Temples. Dhoklas (food item).

And after my little trip, I returned and started with school, and all the study-procrastinate timetable came into action. 
After that I had my vacations again, but by this time I felt really lazy to write, and whenever someone told me to, all I said was "I'm all out of ideas, what do I write?" which by the way, was a disaster, because all the adults in my life associated it with only one thing; my phone. And I was bombarded with all the "You're always on your phone!" and "You should try reading books!" And this advice I followed and then another outrage by the senior citizens of my not-so little family, "We meant your coursebooks!" 

So all I can say is that I have been lazy and I'm sorry.

Now addressing the day's topic. Being you.

I know! Stay on this page please! Everybody says this! Everybody tells you this and I know the entire population is tired of hearing it! But if you have heard them, give me a chance too.

And no, I am not gonna fill this article with 'do what you love' and 'achieve success' because we have all been through this! When someone older gives us this advice, this is the only thing they focus on! Success. Success, Success. But, that does NOT describe you! Your success only reflects your hardwork, or if you are the child of a really rich person and totally incompetent but still have a good job then it reflects the cash your parent sacrificed on your incompetent bum! 
 But all this leaves us with one question, what defines you?
And now let me help you! 

First, you must know who you are. I know you are thinking "Ha! That's easy!" and probably have prepared a list of things you like to do. But what you might find funny is that whatever you came up with mostly consists of what your group of friends want you to like. You don't like most of these things, but after so many years of pretence you have forgotten what you like and don't. I used to think I like to dance but I don't! You must rid yourself of all the things you thought you liked. Once you do that, you will also have rid yourself of the public influence.

Ridding yourself of the influence of others? Oh no! What a heinous crime! You can't do that! You have been brought up for others not yourself! Get used to all of this. As differing and uniqueness are two things that society cannot adapt to. And people will judge you. They expect you to live like them, the way being for other people. You have to remember though, you only have one life, why waste it on living for others instead of yourself. 

Also, you must understand that the people who have an issue with your change are the people who do not deserve to be in your life! They are the people who have always been trying to impose themselves on you and it's time to rid yourself of such nagging grannies. Let me also specify, you mother is not a nagging granny. If she has an issue with one of your changes then there is 99% chance that she right. Listen to her.

By this part you have already overcome the tough part, sounds easy but boy is it hard! Now, you must also understand that you are free to voice your opinion. And please, do not get offended if someone does not agree, respect their individuality and retain yours. Also, voicing your opinion is not "Susan you look like Shrek today!" it is more like "I support feminism because--" or "The book in my opinion was--". Do not go about creating unnecessary insecurities for other people. 

Lastly to conclude I must also tell you, there are different types of people all around. Some be themselves by socialising and others, like myself, are themselves in isolation. It is your responsibility to respect them. 
Now, leaving you with a question to ponder upon 'why did the chicken cross the road?'

The truth about women~ (Women's day special)

Happy women's day! Isn't it brilliant that this day is on a Wednesday, I get to dedicate an entire article to nothing but the simple brilliance of women! Well, I am not writing about the brilliance of women, but the patriarchal society that we live in.

I know, I know, I have probably lost your interest when I mentioned about the topic I am addressing. But, wait, let me at least begin.

Firstly, let's start with the super sweet thirteen, because this is the starting point of all the trouble. You realize how much unwanted attention you get. This, happened with me when I was in sixth, yes, sixth! I was out grocery shopping with my mom and my best friend/ soul sister, and this really creepy man with one eyeball the color white started talking to me, well not just like a normal talk- talk, but, more like whispering in my ear when he crossed us. What is commendable is that my friend was not able to even understand, except the part where he was staring at us. I was really uncomfortable and I told my mother (obviously) and she helped me out of the situation. After that I honestly did not want to go grocery shopping, and I did not even for at least a few months or so.

The years that have followed, I have learned how to take care of myself, and now just exactly how to break a nose with my knuckles.

Now, lets fast forward to the time when a girl gets married. I know, now you are probably thinking 'how would I know anything about all that?' I am no married and don't see myself getting married in the near future either, but I have pretty reliable sources; namely, 'Crime patrol: Dastak' , 'Saavdhaan India'. If that is not convincing then there is also NDTV and newspapers like TOI. And, if you are still not convinced then there is the amazing daily soaps. Now, I don't follow any particulars because 
a) Anandi exists from when I was seven! (Ballika Vadhu reference) and 
b) they ask for too much commitment, I mean particular days and particular hours.. I am barely on time for school most days! 
 I however, do know about these because, well, not a secret, I know about these the same way every Indian teenager knows about the stories of these serials, through their grandparents watching them every single hour of the day. And, even though my reasoning may seem wrong, but what we must understand is that these shows are made in the way that they are so that they are easy to relate by the targeted audience; old people. And, what else is relatable than the daily life they live but just with good looking people, beautiful saris and background music?

So, as to start about the madhouse that marriage is, I have learnt that the first change that takes place is the cliche dialogue of the mother-in-law to the newly arrived bride that sounds like "From today onwards you are like my daughter, don't be shy, okay?" which actually means " From today onwards I have officially hired you as my personal room service and house keeping facility, you are just like my daughter as she is also living this life in her inlaws' house." 
After this, you start to notice how the girl is forbidden to wear clothes of her choice but has to wears saris (regardless that they are beautiful). She cannot even breathe if her mother-in-law does not want her to. 
Then there, is the taking permission for every decision that it is her right to make. examples are listed below.

• her:"Can I start working?"
• MIL(mother-in-law): No.
• her: "Can I cook Thai food? it's been a while..
• MIL: No. I don't like Thai, you can however make an elaborate meal with butter naans and lot of Tzatziki and to compliment this, Worcestershire.

I hope my point was made clear. Then when the girl, finally gets some sense drilled in her and starts to rebel. The MIL changes from the queen bee to the evil queen bee. She does everything in her power to crush the girl's dreams and ambitions. In fact, to the point where she gives the girl incentive to kill herself. 

And you know what is ironic? The husband, is blind to all of it. The man the girl was promised a happy ever after with is either blind or stupid. 

Then enters the Father-in-law, with his one ambition in life; to collect more dowry and blames the girl for all the problems, probably including ozone depletion because her family did not pay enough dowry. 

Girls, women and even ladies live the life that the men want us to. 

I mean, till what point will we live the life where taking selfies makes us a narc and wearing the clothes we like makes us attention seekers.  Where it is dangerous to stay out late. Where we are not allowed to make the money and be the breadwinners but we surely are allowed to make bread for the family. Where we address our husbands as "ji" and they give us a permanent label of  " arey, sunna" Yes, this is a patriarchal society, but it is not only the male population that made it so cruel but also the MIL who expect a 'bahu' in place of a daughter. 

The day we realize that all together we can smash the patriarchy will be the day I will call this country truly united in diversity, not only in the matter of cultures but also in the matter of genders.

let no man define you.

I will be very honest for this article, and let me mention before you start reading this article that this article will have an obscene language. This I think is a very important topic and thought of addressing it, because there is a limit to all the things, we as girls are called. Horrible things, that I am sure would not say if we only knew what they exactly meant.

As girls, we are called  numerous things from a b**** to s**t. And the worst part is that boys say all this to us. They don't even know us. We as girls are very complex beings.

To make this article clearer let me list down all the words used for us and why they are used for us.

• B***h- you will get this if you respect yourself or are confident.
• S**t- if you are pretty or have lot of friends that are guys.
• W***e-if you are confident, have guy friends and laugh in the open. 

Girls also say these to each other. And it disgusts me, because then they are the same girls who cry that people call them such stuff. 
I think it is horrible to even talk about all of this as teenagers. And it is worse to cry about them. 

The entire reason guys say all this to us is because we as girls don't respect ourselves, and if we don't respect ourselves how do we expect boys to respect us. Call me old fashioned, but there is a way of interacting with boys that does not include leaning on them or too much physical contact. It is okay to some extent, but you need to get a grip. There are also certain clothes you should wear if you are meeting boys, not every time do you have to wear shorts, wear pants, stop using "sexist" as a word to hide behind when someone points out that you are not appropriately dressed for a particular occasion. Girls, come on, you are more than that. Wearing revealing clothes will get you attention, but why is that attention costing you your dignity as a girl?

Apart from this, another place where we are wrong is in accepting compliments like 'hot' or 'sexy'. These are cheap. People who have the audacity of giving you such a compliment are nothing but shallow and need to get out of your personal life. No one, I repeat, no one should ever compliment you on what your body looks like, as good as it sounds, let me remind you, the only reason you receive these compliments are because your body looks approving from the media point of view, this meaning, being curvy, having thin thighs, tiny waist, a collar bone and a skinny look. Please wake up! You have to understand someone who appreciates you only because for a change you are wearing revealing clothes and look skinny, are the same people who call you ugly if you look like you don't have a thigh gap in your jeans. You are beautiful, thigh gap or no thigh gap, tiny waist or no tiny waist, a bikini or a gown.  There are hundred other compliments, but people who only call you beautiful when your face is pimple free or your eyelashes look longer, well, I am sorry, whoever these people may be, even your boyfriend, they don't like you for the universe your soul is but because of the plastic doll your body looks like.

I have been called all of the above obscenities and I haven't dealt with them wonderfully. I will be honest, the first time I was called this, well, I sat in my room and cried. I was so confused, what is it in my appearance that makes me look like a girl who has low or zero morals (you know what 'morals' I mean)? Was it the clothes? The friend circle? I tried to change myself, only to receive something worse. And that is when I realized, that people will say these things to you, and you need to stop paying heed. But at the same time take care that whatever they say, should not seem true because you did not bother with carrying yourself properly. 

You are a girl. You deserve to be gentle yet lethal. You are allowed to wear whatever you want, but you must be smart to understand where to wear what. You deserve to receive compliments other than 'hot'/'hawt' and sexy. You deserve the respect you give to yourself from other people as well. And most importantly, you deserve a happiness that is not hindered by what label this shallow world may give you.

To conclude, I would like to apologize for the inappropriate language, and if you are a girl reading this and have been called any or all of these labels, then dear, I believe in you, and you deserve a standing ovation to have made it this far in this horrible, shallow world. If you are a boy  reading this and has ever called any girl the things mentioned above, then, Shame. On. You.

the resolution for 2017

It is the beginning of  another year which gives you one more opportunity to fill your diaries and journals. And as we start a new year we tend to decide upon a new year resolution and, lets admit that most of the time these resolutions remain unfinished or incomplete. I, myself have made quite a few resolutions that have become ancient history four days after I made them. The reason being really simple, either I find them unattainable or am too lazy to put in the effort.

So, this year to make things easy for me, I decided that I will learn to bake a cake. No ordinary cake though, a confidence cake. I am certain that you are wondering what a confidence cake is, it is not an edible thing. In fact it is completely fictitious, the process, however, is fun and the results are transforming (literally).

Now, the question remain as to how one makes it. Well, the recipe is quite simple, the ingredients may be hard to find at first.

To start with you need to have an incentive to bake it. Mostly let affection fuel you, but if that does not do the trick then you can use the statement 'not good enough', that is bestowed upon you by those called 'haters' as fuel.
First, you will need a bowl, for that you can use 'open mindedness'.
Wash it off of all the dust particles of  'self doubt' and 'negativity'. Pat dry the bowl.
Now, for the ingredients, start by putting two spoon fulls of 'carefree attitude', this prevents the cake from rotting due to the condition of 'public opinion'. Then you add two scoops of 'smiles', it adds a flavorful charm to the cake. Now, mix while you gradually add 'self esteem', you need 1 litre of 'self esteem'. Whisk the batter well.
After that add a sprinkle of 'love'. Then a dash of 'self dignity' to boost up the process of attaining the 'confident' condition, at which the cake is ready to bake. Then to add more flavor add some dry fruits, my favorite ones are 'happiness', 'mirth' and 'laughter'.
Whisk again.
Pour the batter in a mould, ideal would be the one in the shape of 'family support' or 'healing hugs'.
Bake the cake at the temperature that suits you, the taste will differ from person to person, those called 'haters' will not like it. Use 'merriment' as the icing. 

Ta-da! You are through, serve this to all whom you know. You will love this cake , and totally fall in love with the idea of falling in love with yourself. This is the cake that I plan to start my new year with!

Haters gonna hate

I thought of this article when I was listening to someone talk mean about me, to someone else, in front of me, and then have the audacity to turn to me and say "you might have not noticed,but we were talking about you". Now normally I would get mad at such kind of situations, but in this particular situation I was too lazy and also the thought of giving those people the attention was not necessary. 

So, I just ignored them and walked away.

I know I shouldn't have walked away, but I was too lazy to give them a reaction or listen to more rubbish from their blabbering mouths.

Also another reason for me writing this is, that today I was speaking to my friend about this girl who keeps telling everyone what to do, what not to do, how everyone looks, how no one is better than her.  It is so irritating to listen to all this, especially when someone keeps talking on and on about themselves and does not give the other person a chance to speak. So as I was talking to my friend we kept discussing the other girl's awful manner of living, while doing so I realized that we were giving her more importance than she deserved.

So here's how you can deal with haters.

Step 1: stop listening to them.

There is this quote "what people say about you, is none of your business". This is so true because it  happens so many times that we tend to listen to our haters, bout what the say, we get so distracted from the real world because of them, we want to know everything they say about us, and not only this, we also want to know what they say about everybody else.

Step 2 : stop talking to them.

It might sound pretty dumb, but yes, you should stop speaking to your haters. Not only does this make your life easier, but also make life easier for the people around you. You might wonder how it makes their life easier, you might not know , but you subconsciously keep obsessing over your haters and cannot stop talking abouy them.

Step 3 : consider them as your fans

Consider your haters as your fans, don't worry about how your haters will react about your present. Live the moment. Act as a celebrity, like how celebs don't care about negative criticism, even you should not. And if you are like me then you might even enjoy the loathing glare haters give you when you pass them, I certainly love the attention.

Step 4 : remember the importance they give you.

Remember when your haters talk bad about you, they took time out of their lives to think about you. Always keep this in mind, the people who talk behind your back are behind you for a reason. You are certainly better than them, your life is certainly more happening than theirs, that is why they are giving off their comments and opinion about it.

Step 5 : Do not be your hater's hater.

Never criticise your haters, because you should not stoop down to their level and do what they do, they don't deserve your attention or time. Do not hate them, use them as your inspiration. Never become a hater, because you don't have to follow their footsteps or the their trodden black path. You don't have to speak about them, you don't have to keep their very blip of an existence in your head. All you should care about is you, yourself and the ones who love you.

the end