How you are ruining your child.

How many kids do you know who read the newspaper? Are you one of the kids who reads the newspaper? When I say newspaper I don't mean the gossip paper, but the parts of politics, the world and the criminal cases. I don't think so. Why is that? Why is it that your kid or a kid never or seldom opens the newspaper? Here is your answer.

The answer lies in the upbringing of a child. I am fourteen, you are probably thinking that what would I know? I am still a child. But, here's the thing, that is exactly where you are wrong. Just because I am a kid does not mean my ideas or the thoughts that come in my head are stupid.  Adults believe that their's is the only opinion that matters. Children are often told that they are too young. Too young to comment on politics. Too young to know of the worldly problems. Too young to know anything apart from their textbooks. It not only ruins a child from inside it also makes them doubt. 
The originality of their thoughts is killed. They are not individuals anymore. They resort to social media, social media is their escape, their hideaway. They start living commercial lives. Following beauty fads (because since everyone is doing it, it must be smart, right?) 
I want this to be a message for all the adults, you people are making this planet a factory that manufactures robots. The future is of non opinionated sheep, of chaos and of pigheadedness. 
Children stop midway of their thoughts because this statement comes to the mind 'You know what? I am too young to be thinking about this topic.' 
You are manufacturing not bringing up. Nor are you manufacturing children but a generation of straight A's. 
This is not the only way you are ruining the individuality of a child. You send your child to school, in order to learn, but unfortunately this is not what is happening. Let me tell you a secret. A secret all students know but are too afraid to say because 'what do you know?' Here's the thing, school makes your child stupid. Everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. 
In a class of 40, each different mind is made to absorb knowledge in one and only one way. Some don't. Some do. There is no way around it. The teachers teach in this manner. What good is learning if it is not accompanied by understanding and only mugging up?
Tests are another section that ruin your child. The written tests don't determine whether your child is intelligent but the fact that if he is able to remember vocabulary. The terms for body parts, one word that is misplaced and the whole answer is wrong. Education has become a nightmare.

Subjects like art, dance and music have no importance. They are not encouraged. The few who perform for these programs are selected on I don't know what basis. Do the other children not have limbs? Do they not have a voice? Do they not have imagination?  Creation? There exists a label of mediocrity for the children who don't participate. Do you know why they don't want to participate? It is not that they don't want to, they don't get to.  And as a child gets into higher classes she does not even get to participate. My school does not have music lessons for eighth grade and above. From tenth grade we are not allowed to perform or even participate in the Annual day. 

I am fourteen. I don't read the newspaper. I don't score straight A's. I am not qualified to make the above statements. But, other than that. I am fourteen, and I am not stupid. My brain  functions normally. My brain has a million ideas everyday. And I can notice when something is not taking a proper course. With the changing times so should the means of bringing children up. And that I think is an idea worth considering. But hey! What do I know?

let no man define you.

I will be very honest for this article, and let me mention before you start reading this article that this article will have an obscene language. This I think is a very important topic and thought of addressing it, because there is a limit to all the things, we as girls are called. Horrible things, that I am sure would not say if we only knew what they exactly meant.

As girls, we are called  numerous things from a b**** to s**t. And the worst part is that boys say all this to us. They don't even know us. We as girls are very complex beings.

To make this article clearer let me list down all the words used for us and why they are used for us.

• B***h- you will get this if you respect yourself or are confident.
• S**t- if you are pretty or have lot of friends that are guys.
• W***e-if you are confident, have guy friends and laugh in the open. 

Girls also say these to each other. And it disgusts me, because then they are the same girls who cry that people call them such stuff. 
I think it is horrible to even talk about all of this as teenagers. And it is worse to cry about them. 

The entire reason guys say all this to us is because we as girls don't respect ourselves, and if we don't respect ourselves how do we expect boys to respect us. Call me old fashioned, but there is a way of interacting with boys that does not include leaning on them or too much physical contact. It is okay to some extent, but you need to get a grip. There are also certain clothes you should wear if you are meeting boys, not every time do you have to wear shorts, wear pants, stop using "sexist" as a word to hide behind when someone points out that you are not appropriately dressed for a particular occasion. Girls, come on, you are more than that. Wearing revealing clothes will get you attention, but why is that attention costing you your dignity as a girl?

Apart from this, another place where we are wrong is in accepting compliments like 'hot' or 'sexy'. These are cheap. People who have the audacity of giving you such a compliment are nothing but shallow and need to get out of your personal life. No one, I repeat, no one should ever compliment you on what your body looks like, as good as it sounds, let me remind you, the only reason you receive these compliments are because your body looks approving from the media point of view, this meaning, being curvy, having thin thighs, tiny waist, a collar bone and a skinny look. Please wake up! You have to understand someone who appreciates you only because for a change you are wearing revealing clothes and look skinny, are the same people who call you ugly if you look like you don't have a thigh gap in your jeans. You are beautiful, thigh gap or no thigh gap, tiny waist or no tiny waist, a bikini or a gown.  There are hundred other compliments, but people who only call you beautiful when your face is pimple free or your eyelashes look longer, well, I am sorry, whoever these people may be, even your boyfriend, they don't like you for the universe your soul is but because of the plastic doll your body looks like.

I have been called all of the above obscenities and I haven't dealt with them wonderfully. I will be honest, the first time I was called this, well, I sat in my room and cried. I was so confused, what is it in my appearance that makes me look like a girl who has low or zero morals (you know what 'morals' I mean)? Was it the clothes? The friend circle? I tried to change myself, only to receive something worse. And that is when I realized, that people will say these things to you, and you need to stop paying heed. But at the same time take care that whatever they say, should not seem true because you did not bother with carrying yourself properly. 

You are a girl. You deserve to be gentle yet lethal. You are allowed to wear whatever you want, but you must be smart to understand where to wear what. You deserve to receive compliments other than 'hot'/'hawt' and sexy. You deserve the respect you give to yourself from other people as well. And most importantly, you deserve a happiness that is not hindered by what label this shallow world may give you.

To conclude, I would like to apologize for the inappropriate language, and if you are a girl reading this and have been called any or all of these labels, then dear, I believe in you, and you deserve a standing ovation to have made it this far in this horrible, shallow world. If you are a boy  reading this and has ever called any girl the things mentioned above, then, Shame. On. You.

Breakups! (Valentine's day special.)

Once upon a time there lived a fair maiden, fairer than the word fair itself. The perfect ingénue who fell in love with a charming prince. Little did she know that the prince was a wicked man, a beast, a man who was a disgrace to the male population. The girl was, however, irrevocably in love with him. One not so fine day, he broke her heart, it shattered into a thousand pieces. Her friends were all worried on how to take care of her, and then, a miracle happened. They read this very scroll that you are about to read;

Yes, I am back, yet again with another piece of advice! As we all know, Valentine's day was yesterday. A day of love, cheer, affection, passion and compassion (yeah right..). To be honest, it is just an excuse to eat expensive food and make an ordinary Tuesday happy by making it feel special. I was going to post a love story, since it has been really long since I did, but I couldn't fathom anything without either putting in a lot of pain or magic. So, I decided to talk about breakups..I know, I should have waited. Sorry in advance for killing the Romantic vibe. 

As you all know, breakups are pretty common, especially among those little brats who don't listen to your parents, and go in relationships. From my previous articles it is crystal clear that I detest this ideology. But, of course, even though I am against it, I shall make it clear that I am a normal girl and I do crush on people, and have never been in a relationship, please follow my example. I guess three paragraphs is a pretty long introduction, so without wasting more time I shall begin!

 First, one must know that the victim must be handled with a lot of care, the victim is very sensitive and emotionally unbalanced. So, to stabilize the emotional status, you, as responsible friends must dispose of all the belongings of the one called the dreaded Ex. The belongings and mementos may include some gifts, accessories or even a stinky sock perhaps.

Second, I like to call this step, 'clearing the junk and making room.' Let me elaborate. This step is devised in two phases.

Phase 1: De-clutter 

This includes deleting pictures, number and also the songs that remind the victim of the terrifying Ex. 

Phase 2: Re-clutter

This includes filling the victim with junk like a tub of ice cream or new shoes, regardless that the victim may have hundred other pairs, you need to love the victim and make it feel special.

Third, I have no name for this step but what it consists of is being a patient listener. This is the most difficult of all, you have to deal with the sobbing, wailing, screaming and emotional parkour (mood swings.) Let me warn you, that your t shirt may be used a tissue.

Fourth, burn down the pictures, one by one, and instead of de-cluttering you can burn or flush down the belongings. Make sure the victim is with you when you are doing all of this.

Fifth, make the victim listen to BMTH (bring me the horizon) and Nirvana, because believe me, a bunch of screaming kids, drums and electric guitar make AMAZING music. 

DO NOT! I repeat DO NOT, let the victim listen to Taylor Swift.

Sixth, this is the most exciting step, if you have followed the above steps correctly, then your victim is boiling with rage, and now its time for revenge. It is one of those proud moments watching the victim screaming curses over the phone to the Ex, you created that monster, you should be super happy.

Lastly, not a step but certain ideas for revenge

• You can shave off their eyebrows while they are asleep.
• You can be a pretty good vandal.
• Putting glitter in the A/C vent of the car, always works and is super fun.
• Prank calling the parents.
• Praying they step on a lego.
• Scribble in the notebooks.

I know all of this sounds really petty, but believe me, it is super FUN! And here I leave you, empowered with new knowledge and weaponry, happy moving on! ;)

How To Inspire

I start my day with a Ted talk everyday. I am obsessed with them, there is something new, something different in every talk, something that imprints itself on your brain, but most importantly something that inspires you to make your life better. I have always wondered, how could a talk make such a huge impact on my life.

When I asked my mother, she said that they inspire the same way, I inspire people through my writing. But, in reality, I have never inspired anyone, I haven't tried at least, I try to motivate people to do better or be better. But then, I was left pondering over the question "Are the terms 'motivation' and 'inspiration' one and the same?" 
So, I did what every other person would do; I opened the Oxford dictionary and read through both of their definitions, and the very simple difference is 'motivation' is providing reason to act in a certain way whereas 'inspiration' is an influence.

This led me to brood over the question "How do you influence other lives?"
And this is the answer I got after a careful assessment.

First, to inspire someone you have to be able to relate to them, even though you probably don't know the first thing about them, but you have to make them believe that the two of you are akin, and that can be simple achieved by following the advice if the very simple yet sufficient proverb "put yourself in someone else's shoes." Think of what you will be going through if you were in their place.

Next, build your idea around the question "does this add value to my life?" If it adds value to your life, there is a high chance that it will add value to their life as well.

One very significant detail that we tend to overlook is the term "proof." Of course you probably stated that "eating fish is good for health," but where is the proof ?
You need to give an experience that made a significant change in your health just by eating fish, or you can support it with evidence, facts or some research.

Lastly, when you have finally become a person who is relatible, smart and can provide proof to the statement you make; you need to have a language that does not make the reader or listener/reader lose interest in you. For example, using a super complex form of the English language is a no-no. Not only do you sound boring, but also appear as boastful and too proud of your knowledge, plus your readers/listeners don't understand you.
Then, a too simple language is strictly forbidden, because:

1. You sound lame (pun intended)
2. You lose the interest of your readers/listeners, since you do not appear as someone who is slightly different or a step ahead of your readers/listeners.
3. Clearly "the cat was you know..a different, kind of pretty-ish you know brown." and "the cat was as an exquisite shade of brown." portray you as two different kind of people

Keep your language simple yet elegant, in other terms find elegance in simplicity. Make your point understood along with making an impact upon your reader/listener.

That is all for today! Happy inspiring! :)

the resolution for 2017

It is the beginning of  another year which gives you one more opportunity to fill your diaries and journals. And as we start a new year we tend to decide upon a new year resolution and, lets admit that most of the time these resolutions remain unfinished or incomplete. I, myself have made quite a few resolutions that have become ancient history four days after I made them. The reason being really simple, either I find them unattainable or am too lazy to put in the effort.

So, this year to make things easy for me, I decided that I will learn to bake a cake. No ordinary cake though, a confidence cake. I am certain that you are wondering what a confidence cake is, it is not an edible thing. In fact it is completely fictitious, the process, however, is fun and the results are transforming (literally).

Now, the question remain as to how one makes it. Well, the recipe is quite simple, the ingredients may be hard to find at first.

To start with you need to have an incentive to bake it. Mostly let affection fuel you, but if that does not do the trick then you can use the statement 'not good enough', that is bestowed upon you by those called 'haters' as fuel.
First, you will need a bowl, for that you can use 'open mindedness'.
Wash it off of all the dust particles of  'self doubt' and 'negativity'. Pat dry the bowl.
Now, for the ingredients, start by putting two spoon fulls of 'carefree attitude', this prevents the cake from rotting due to the condition of 'public opinion'. Then you add two scoops of 'smiles', it adds a flavorful charm to the cake. Now, mix while you gradually add 'self esteem', you need 1 litre of 'self esteem'. Whisk the batter well.
After that add a sprinkle of 'love'. Then a dash of 'self dignity' to boost up the process of attaining the 'confident' condition, at which the cake is ready to bake. Then to add more flavor add some dry fruits, my favorite ones are 'happiness', 'mirth' and 'laughter'.
Whisk again.
Pour the batter in a mould, ideal would be the one in the shape of 'family support' or 'healing hugs'.
Bake the cake at the temperature that suits you, the taste will differ from person to person, those called 'haters' will not like it. Use 'merriment' as the icing. 

Ta-da! You are through, serve this to all whom you know. You will love this cake , and totally fall in love with the idea of falling in love with yourself. This is the cake that I plan to start my new year with!

The Cool Kids

Honestly, I just realized that I write a lot about social issues that particularly teenage kids are faced with, and that is merely because, well, lets all admit, we experience way too much to share it all with our parents without the conversation becoming embarrassing. However, you all still need advice, so I am here to provide it. Today I have picked the topic "Cool Kids".

As much as we want to be a part of that group that has it all, cool cars, zillions of friends, great fashion style and amazing personalities. It is only fair that we understand these kids..who ride around on bikes even if they are underage and don't have a license.

A little fact that might burst your bubble, these people are also skin and bone.

To begin with, let me list down all the things positive about these kids.

• First is, their carelessness. These kids never bother of what is happening around them, they are really laid back, with their untied laces, peppermint chewing gum and loose pants and over sized t-shirts.
• Their confidence is the other thing that we love, who does not like confidence, and these people seem to be overflowing with it.
• The clothes, the guys always seem to look like the latest version of Justin Beiber and the girls look like Barbie dolls. And we want to experience that flawlessness.
• We love the fact that everyone knows them and they still have a world of their own. Even though, they don't know everyone who knows them.
• And, frankly speaking we all just want to experience a life that is slightly more than ordinary, that is in the spotlight, that is the center of attraction and that is on everyone lips and a part of everyone's gossip.

But, if I am asked of these people the only thing I will say is that they are brats! They are the most cliche kind of people who are happy when everyone around them is miserable. The only way they can feel good about themselves is by pulling the other kids' confidence down. They are all the same faces and souls. We believe that they stand out, but they really don't. The girls have the same skinniness, long hair, colored lips and the 'mean girl syndrome'. They think that they are socially acceptable if they wear revealing clothes! None of them is single, they all have boyfriends. These girls don't realize that these relationships are the ones that are destined to break. There is no long term stuff happening here. And, the only way you can become this is by knowing a lot of people and being hated by all those who know you.

The guys have the same hair, same sense of fashion, and same obsession with leaning against walls or inanimate objects while they run their fingers through their hair in a vertical motion. It is really frustrating honestly. I think it is some kind of a mental disorder. One more thing, these kids don't understand that they are in school. They are not twenty two, they are in school. These people dress up for every occasion as if they are going to some sort of a club or some pub or some adult place. Girls wear layers of makeup, honestly, I don't even know what their true skin color might me. Either they use the fake tanning products or use fairness creams. 

The worst part is their Instagram feed. Let me tell you, I know this girl who is younger to me who wears red lipstick, posts about winged eyeliner, has a boyfriend and has a picture of herself wearing her inner wear. 

I am also against the fact that to be socially acceptable such as these people you have to wear clothing that is revealing in obscene ways. NEWS FLASH: You are not a super model and don't have to make any public appearances! 

And if you think that these people are confident, then well, they are not, because if they were then, they would not be fidgeting with their clothes and wear them confidently, brands would not matter.  Clothes would be just clothes.

We all should know that there is more to us than the superficial. That people are more that their superficial flaws. Most Importantly, there is no such thing as "Cool Kids". That is a myth.  You are all perfect.

                                                                     

The importance of originality

I know that I am late with my post, and, I will justify it but  not just yet, today I want to talk to all of you about you.

When I said 'you', what did you picture yourself as? Did you think you look like some girl from your class or did yo think you are as smart as the topper of you class? Did those people even come to your mind? I guess not. So why is it that you find yourself comparing your amazing originality to them in any social situation?

I know right now, you are possibly thinking that this is one of those articles that tells you to not compare yourself to others or to love yourself but, it isn't. And I don't plan to make it sound like those articles. I am asking yourself to compare yourself. Compare yourself to that kid who sits alone in the class or the one who is surrounded by a million friends and is still lonely, compare yourself to such people if that is what helps you understand your self worth. 

I want you to get up every morning and examine yourself in the mirror. I want you to look at your eyes and if you are not happy with their hazel color or their brown, then  want you to picture yourself with blue eyes (if that is what you want) and try to picture them turn the breathtaking golden in the sunlight, would they like they do now? I am sure not. I want you to smile at your reflection, not sulk at it. I want you to look at your hair and for once hope it wasn't blonde or brunette, but the color that it is. The color that makes you, you. That gives you your own identity. 

I want you to stop thinking about all those people who you want to look like, and think of what you look like, the same you your family loves and will love even if you dye your hair purple the next day. You don't have to walk like the popular girl or have the same hair as her. You don't have to have the same way of talking, or the same accent because then, what is the difference between her and you? I mean other than the fact that she is an original and you are a copy. 

Why is it that you are trying so hard to look so beautiful? Is it because you want to look good for yourself or is it that you crave attention? Ask yourself this. Does the red lipstick make you look good or are you simply wearing it because the boy you like had a girlfriend who wore that color? I hope it is not the latter. I will be very honest and admit it to all of you, that I honestly used to care a lot about what people think about me. I was not half as lucky as all of you and did not have a good blog article that told me to stop bothering about public opinion and I was merely taught by this teacher I like to call experience. 

And it was only a few days ago that I decided that I am leaving behind public opinion. That I will truly find myself, not by going to some pilgrimage to the Himalayas and chanting but by doing this really simple exercise that includes public opinion. I asked all my friends to describe me in three adjectives and list three things they like and three things that they don't like about me. Honestly, it was to know what others think about me, but as people started replying I noticed that most of the answers, I could not even relate to. There was this one particular answer that caught my eye it said "Who cares?" And this is when I realized that yes, it should not matter, I have to be me, my three adjectives matter not the people who will probably not even be in my life after the next ten years.

I have tried being a lot of different people, tried following in the footsteps,I have followed people blindly like a sheep in order to just "fit in" only to find that there is no particular way to fit in other than being you. Being an original.

I don't know how this may have motivated you but nevertheless I just hope it made you understand your worth. To end let me just quote the internet and say that "An original is worth more than a copy."