musical phases probably all of us have had

A day late, I know.. Well, let me start by justifying and saying, that I have been updating even during my examinations. And I was being productive that is why I forgot, and also, I have my Biology exam next and I am still writing for all of you today.

And yet, you are as grateful as this animal. But, since I am so nice, I forgive you.

Anyways, today I thought of reviewing the musical journey of probably all or at least most of us, I am writing about the evolution of music for us all.

The kid phase:

This is when we listen to Humpty Dumpty and all the different Nursery rhymes. The rhymes that instill fear of 'Wee Willie Winkie' and that never explain to us how exactly did Jack and Jill fall from a hill. The rhymes that talks about throwing little cats into wells.

The Swiftie obsession:

This was when I was seven. I was introduced to this song called 'Love story'. 
Disaster. 
Because suddenly I was in love with the idea of a prince charming and balls and gowns. I wanted to be a princess. 
Lesson number one: never let your daughter believe she is a princess because as she grows, reality slaps her and she gets to know about the fact that boys are not princes but smelly swine.


The boy band phase:

This ruins you. It may seem cool at first but as you get some sense in that big brain of yours, you start to see a clearer image of how you have been ruining your social status since such a long time. IT ACTUALLY IS THE WRONG DIRECTION.

The rebel phase:

This is the "cool" phase. The 'I don't wanna fit in' phase. The phase where music is not beats or instruments but screaming words and random words for lyrics. You can make your own rock song all you need to do is sing, for example
" The sheep was dead,
My shirt was red
red was my blood
red was sheep blood
Sheep, oh sheep why'd you die?
Don't you know, that made me cry?"
Sing this while screaming and doused in sweat with shaggy hair and bleeding mascara. Congratulations! You are now a rockstar! 

The music with beats phase:

I guess this image sums up the 'hip hop' culture. All the songs are practically the same. A guy in a vest, some breezy shorts, sitting by the swimming pool or beach or a room made of some shiny material (looks like tin foil to me.) And all they sing about is themselves and how they have used so many people and reached to the top of their "bizz" and "they juz' all dem cray cray 'bout dat money"  It is so overrated. Fine, the beats are nice, but at one point you realize that they are all the same! These songs ruin a person. Completely ruin a person. [Dangerous phase]

Back to basics phase:

After all this musical mayhem that you have survived you finally go to listening soothing, plain songs (old people songs). And instead of music being your social identity it is now a way to spend your free time, because by the time you reach this phase you are boring and an adult.

The no-music zone:

 (I could not find anything so, here is a cat on a unicorn)

This is the last phase, you are pretty old by now and don't have time for music because you are too busy  collecting your dentures and looking for the specs you keep misplacing.

The truth about women~ (Women's day special)

Happy women's day! Isn't it brilliant that this day is on a Wednesday, I get to dedicate an entire article to nothing but the simple brilliance of women! Well, I am not writing about the brilliance of women, but the patriarchal society that we live in.

I know, I know, I have probably lost your interest when I mentioned about the topic I am addressing. But, wait, let me at least begin.

Firstly, let's start with the super sweet thirteen, because this is the starting point of all the trouble. You realize how much unwanted attention you get. This, happened with me when I was in sixth, yes, sixth! I was out grocery shopping with my mom and my best friend/ soul sister, and this really creepy man with one eyeball the color white started talking to me, well not just like a normal talk- talk, but, more like whispering in my ear when he crossed us. What is commendable is that my friend was not able to even understand, except the part where he was staring at us. I was really uncomfortable and I told my mother (obviously) and she helped me out of the situation. After that I honestly did not want to go grocery shopping, and I did not even for at least a few months or so.

The years that have followed, I have learned how to take care of myself, and now just exactly how to break a nose with my knuckles.

Now, lets fast forward to the time when a girl gets married. I know, now you are probably thinking 'how would I know anything about all that?' I am no married and don't see myself getting married in the near future either, but I have pretty reliable sources; namely, 'Crime patrol: Dastak' , 'Saavdhaan India'. If that is not convincing then there is also NDTV and newspapers like TOI. And, if you are still not convinced then there is the amazing daily soaps. Now, I don't follow any particulars because 
a) Anandi exists from when I was seven! (Ballika Vadhu reference) and 
b) they ask for too much commitment, I mean particular days and particular hours.. I am barely on time for school most days! 
 I however, do know about these because, well, not a secret, I know about these the same way every Indian teenager knows about the stories of these serials, through their grandparents watching them every single hour of the day. And, even though my reasoning may seem wrong, but what we must understand is that these shows are made in the way that they are so that they are easy to relate by the targeted audience; old people. And, what else is relatable than the daily life they live but just with good looking people, beautiful saris and background music?

So, as to start about the madhouse that marriage is, I have learnt that the first change that takes place is the cliche dialogue of the mother-in-law to the newly arrived bride that sounds like "From today onwards you are like my daughter, don't be shy, okay?" which actually means " From today onwards I have officially hired you as my personal room service and house keeping facility, you are just like my daughter as she is also living this life in her inlaws' house." 
After this, you start to notice how the girl is forbidden to wear clothes of her choice but has to wears saris (regardless that they are beautiful). She cannot even breathe if her mother-in-law does not want her to. 
Then there, is the taking permission for every decision that it is her right to make. examples are listed below.

• her:"Can I start working?"
• MIL(mother-in-law): No.
• her: "Can I cook Thai food? it's been a while..
• MIL: No. I don't like Thai, you can however make an elaborate meal with butter naans and lot of Tzatziki and to compliment this, Worcestershire.

I hope my point was made clear. Then when the girl, finally gets some sense drilled in her and starts to rebel. The MIL changes from the queen bee to the evil queen bee. She does everything in her power to crush the girl's dreams and ambitions. In fact, to the point where she gives the girl incentive to kill herself. 

And you know what is ironic? The husband, is blind to all of it. The man the girl was promised a happy ever after with is either blind or stupid. 

Then enters the Father-in-law, with his one ambition in life; to collect more dowry and blames the girl for all the problems, probably including ozone depletion because her family did not pay enough dowry. 

Girls, women and even ladies live the life that the men want us to. 

I mean, till what point will we live the life where taking selfies makes us a narc and wearing the clothes we like makes us attention seekers.  Where it is dangerous to stay out late. Where we are not allowed to make the money and be the breadwinners but we surely are allowed to make bread for the family. Where we address our husbands as "ji" and they give us a permanent label of  " arey, sunna" Yes, this is a patriarchal society, but it is not only the male population that made it so cruel but also the MIL who expect a 'bahu' in place of a daughter. 

The day we realize that all together we can smash the patriarchy will be the day I will call this country truly united in diversity, not only in the matter of cultures but also in the matter of genders.

How you are ruining your child.

How many kids do you know who read the newspaper? Are you one of the kids who reads the newspaper? When I say newspaper I don't mean the gossip paper, but the parts of politics, the world and the criminal cases. I don't think so. Why is that? Why is it that your kid or a kid never or seldom opens the newspaper? Here is your answer.

The answer lies in the upbringing of a child. I am fourteen, you are probably thinking that what would I know? I am still a child. But, here's the thing, that is exactly where you are wrong. Just because I am a kid does not mean my ideas or the thoughts that come in my head are stupid.  Adults believe that their's is the only opinion that matters. Children are often told that they are too young. Too young to comment on politics. Too young to know of the worldly problems. Too young to know anything apart from their textbooks. It not only ruins a child from inside it also makes them doubt. 
The originality of their thoughts is killed. They are not individuals anymore. They resort to social media, social media is their escape, their hideaway. They start living commercial lives. Following beauty fads (because since everyone is doing it, it must be smart, right?) 
I want this to be a message for all the adults, you people are making this planet a factory that manufactures robots. The future is of non opinionated sheep, of chaos and of pigheadedness. 
Children stop midway of their thoughts because this statement comes to the mind 'You know what? I am too young to be thinking about this topic.' 
You are manufacturing not bringing up. Nor are you manufacturing children but a generation of straight A's. 
This is not the only way you are ruining the individuality of a child. You send your child to school, in order to learn, but unfortunately this is not what is happening. Let me tell you a secret. A secret all students know but are too afraid to say because 'what do you know?' Here's the thing, school makes your child stupid. Everyday. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. 
In a class of 40, each different mind is made to absorb knowledge in one and only one way. Some don't. Some do. There is no way around it. The teachers teach in this manner. What good is learning if it is not accompanied by understanding and only mugging up?
Tests are another section that ruin your child. The written tests don't determine whether your child is intelligent but the fact that if he is able to remember vocabulary. The terms for body parts, one word that is misplaced and the whole answer is wrong. Education has become a nightmare.

Subjects like art, dance and music have no importance. They are not encouraged. The few who perform for these programs are selected on I don't know what basis. Do the other children not have limbs? Do they not have a voice? Do they not have imagination?  Creation? There exists a label of mediocrity for the children who don't participate. Do you know why they don't want to participate? It is not that they don't want to, they don't get to.  And as a child gets into higher classes she does not even get to participate. My school does not have music lessons for eighth grade and above. From tenth grade we are not allowed to perform or even participate in the Annual day. 

I am fourteen. I don't read the newspaper. I don't score straight A's. I am not qualified to make the above statements. But, other than that. I am fourteen, and I am not stupid. My brain  functions normally. My brain has a million ideas everyday. And I can notice when something is not taking a proper course. With the changing times so should the means of bringing children up. And that I think is an idea worth considering. But hey! What do I know?

let no man define you.

I will be very honest for this article, and let me mention before you start reading this article that this article will have an obscene language. This I think is a very important topic and thought of addressing it, because there is a limit to all the things, we as girls are called. Horrible things, that I am sure would not say if we only knew what they exactly meant.

As girls, we are called  numerous things from a b**** to s**t. And the worst part is that boys say all this to us. They don't even know us. We as girls are very complex beings.

To make this article clearer let me list down all the words used for us and why they are used for us.

• B***h- you will get this if you respect yourself or are confident.
• S**t- if you are pretty or have lot of friends that are guys.
• W***e-if you are confident, have guy friends and laugh in the open. 

Girls also say these to each other. And it disgusts me, because then they are the same girls who cry that people call them such stuff. 
I think it is horrible to even talk about all of this as teenagers. And it is worse to cry about them. 

The entire reason guys say all this to us is because we as girls don't respect ourselves, and if we don't respect ourselves how do we expect boys to respect us. Call me old fashioned, but there is a way of interacting with boys that does not include leaning on them or too much physical contact. It is okay to some extent, but you need to get a grip. There are also certain clothes you should wear if you are meeting boys, not every time do you have to wear shorts, wear pants, stop using "sexist" as a word to hide behind when someone points out that you are not appropriately dressed for a particular occasion. Girls, come on, you are more than that. Wearing revealing clothes will get you attention, but why is that attention costing you your dignity as a girl?

Apart from this, another place where we are wrong is in accepting compliments like 'hot' or 'sexy'. These are cheap. People who have the audacity of giving you such a compliment are nothing but shallow and need to get out of your personal life. No one, I repeat, no one should ever compliment you on what your body looks like, as good as it sounds, let me remind you, the only reason you receive these compliments are because your body looks approving from the media point of view, this meaning, being curvy, having thin thighs, tiny waist, a collar bone and a skinny look. Please wake up! You have to understand someone who appreciates you only because for a change you are wearing revealing clothes and look skinny, are the same people who call you ugly if you look like you don't have a thigh gap in your jeans. You are beautiful, thigh gap or no thigh gap, tiny waist or no tiny waist, a bikini or a gown.  There are hundred other compliments, but people who only call you beautiful when your face is pimple free or your eyelashes look longer, well, I am sorry, whoever these people may be, even your boyfriend, they don't like you for the universe your soul is but because of the plastic doll your body looks like.

I have been called all of the above obscenities and I haven't dealt with them wonderfully. I will be honest, the first time I was called this, well, I sat in my room and cried. I was so confused, what is it in my appearance that makes me look like a girl who has low or zero morals (you know what 'morals' I mean)? Was it the clothes? The friend circle? I tried to change myself, only to receive something worse. And that is when I realized, that people will say these things to you, and you need to stop paying heed. But at the same time take care that whatever they say, should not seem true because you did not bother with carrying yourself properly. 

You are a girl. You deserve to be gentle yet lethal. You are allowed to wear whatever you want, but you must be smart to understand where to wear what. You deserve to receive compliments other than 'hot'/'hawt' and sexy. You deserve the respect you give to yourself from other people as well. And most importantly, you deserve a happiness that is not hindered by what label this shallow world may give you.

To conclude, I would like to apologize for the inappropriate language, and if you are a girl reading this and have been called any or all of these labels, then dear, I believe in you, and you deserve a standing ovation to have made it this far in this horrible, shallow world. If you are a boy  reading this and has ever called any girl the things mentioned above, then, Shame. On. You.

Breakups! (Valentine's day special.)

Once upon a time there lived a fair maiden, fairer than the word fair itself. The perfect ingénue who fell in love with a charming prince. Little did she know that the prince was a wicked man, a beast, a man who was a disgrace to the male population. The girl was, however, irrevocably in love with him. One not so fine day, he broke her heart, it shattered into a thousand pieces. Her friends were all worried on how to take care of her, and then, a miracle happened. They read this very scroll that you are about to read;

Yes, I am back, yet again with another piece of advice! As we all know, Valentine's day was yesterday. A day of love, cheer, affection, passion and compassion (yeah right..). To be honest, it is just an excuse to eat expensive food and make an ordinary Tuesday happy by making it feel special. I was going to post a love story, since it has been really long since I did, but I couldn't fathom anything without either putting in a lot of pain or magic. So, I decided to talk about breakups..I know, I should have waited. Sorry in advance for killing the Romantic vibe. 

As you all know, breakups are pretty common, especially among those little brats who don't listen to your parents, and go in relationships. From my previous articles it is crystal clear that I detest this ideology. But, of course, even though I am against it, I shall make it clear that I am a normal girl and I do crush on people, and have never been in a relationship, please follow my example. I guess three paragraphs is a pretty long introduction, so without wasting more time I shall begin!

 First, one must know that the victim must be handled with a lot of care, the victim is very sensitive and emotionally unbalanced. So, to stabilize the emotional status, you, as responsible friends must dispose of all the belongings of the one called the dreaded Ex. The belongings and mementos may include some gifts, accessories or even a stinky sock perhaps.

Second, I like to call this step, 'clearing the junk and making room.' Let me elaborate. This step is devised in two phases.

Phase 1: De-clutter 

This includes deleting pictures, number and also the songs that remind the victim of the terrifying Ex. 

Phase 2: Re-clutter

This includes filling the victim with junk like a tub of ice cream or new shoes, regardless that the victim may have hundred other pairs, you need to love the victim and make it feel special.

Third, I have no name for this step but what it consists of is being a patient listener. This is the most difficult of all, you have to deal with the sobbing, wailing, screaming and emotional parkour (mood swings.) Let me warn you, that your t shirt may be used a tissue.

Fourth, burn down the pictures, one by one, and instead of de-cluttering you can burn or flush down the belongings. Make sure the victim is with you when you are doing all of this.

Fifth, make the victim listen to BMTH (bring me the horizon) and Nirvana, because believe me, a bunch of screaming kids, drums and electric guitar make AMAZING music. 

DO NOT! I repeat DO NOT, let the victim listen to Taylor Swift.

Sixth, this is the most exciting step, if you have followed the above steps correctly, then your victim is boiling with rage, and now its time for revenge. It is one of those proud moments watching the victim screaming curses over the phone to the Ex, you created that monster, you should be super happy.

Lastly, not a step but certain ideas for revenge

• You can shave off their eyebrows while they are asleep.
• You can be a pretty good vandal.
• Putting glitter in the A/C vent of the car, always works and is super fun.
• Prank calling the parents.
• Praying they step on a lego.
• Scribble in the notebooks.

I know all of this sounds really petty, but believe me, it is super FUN! And here I leave you, empowered with new knowledge and weaponry, happy moving on! ;)

How To Inspire

I start my day with a Ted talk everyday. I am obsessed with them, there is something new, something different in every talk, something that imprints itself on your brain, but most importantly something that inspires you to make your life better. I have always wondered, how could a talk make such a huge impact on my life.

When I asked my mother, she said that they inspire the same way, I inspire people through my writing. But, in reality, I have never inspired anyone, I haven't tried at least, I try to motivate people to do better or be better. But then, I was left pondering over the question "Are the terms 'motivation' and 'inspiration' one and the same?" 
So, I did what every other person would do; I opened the Oxford dictionary and read through both of their definitions, and the very simple difference is 'motivation' is providing reason to act in a certain way whereas 'inspiration' is an influence.

This led me to brood over the question "How do you influence other lives?"
And this is the answer I got after a careful assessment.

First, to inspire someone you have to be able to relate to them, even though you probably don't know the first thing about them, but you have to make them believe that the two of you are akin, and that can be simple achieved by following the advice if the very simple yet sufficient proverb "put yourself in someone else's shoes." Think of what you will be going through if you were in their place.

Next, build your idea around the question "does this add value to my life?" If it adds value to your life, there is a high chance that it will add value to their life as well.

One very significant detail that we tend to overlook is the term "proof." Of course you probably stated that "eating fish is good for health," but where is the proof ?
You need to give an experience that made a significant change in your health just by eating fish, or you can support it with evidence, facts or some research.

Lastly, when you have finally become a person who is relatible, smart and can provide proof to the statement you make; you need to have a language that does not make the reader or listener/reader lose interest in you. For example, using a super complex form of the English language is a no-no. Not only do you sound boring, but also appear as boastful and too proud of your knowledge, plus your readers/listeners don't understand you.
Then, a too simple language is strictly forbidden, because:

1. You sound lame (pun intended)
2. You lose the interest of your readers/listeners, since you do not appear as someone who is slightly different or a step ahead of your readers/listeners.
3. Clearly "the cat was you know..a different, kind of pretty-ish you know brown." and "the cat was as an exquisite shade of brown." portray you as two different kind of people

Keep your language simple yet elegant, in other terms find elegance in simplicity. Make your point understood along with making an impact upon your reader/listener.

That is all for today! Happy inspiring! :)

the resolution for 2017

It is the beginning of  another year which gives you one more opportunity to fill your diaries and journals. And as we start a new year we tend to decide upon a new year resolution and, lets admit that most of the time these resolutions remain unfinished or incomplete. I, myself have made quite a few resolutions that have become ancient history four days after I made them. The reason being really simple, either I find them unattainable or am too lazy to put in the effort.

So, this year to make things easy for me, I decided that I will learn to bake a cake. No ordinary cake though, a confidence cake. I am certain that you are wondering what a confidence cake is, it is not an edible thing. In fact it is completely fictitious, the process, however, is fun and the results are transforming (literally).

Now, the question remain as to how one makes it. Well, the recipe is quite simple, the ingredients may be hard to find at first.

To start with you need to have an incentive to bake it. Mostly let affection fuel you, but if that does not do the trick then you can use the statement 'not good enough', that is bestowed upon you by those called 'haters' as fuel.
First, you will need a bowl, for that you can use 'open mindedness'.
Wash it off of all the dust particles of  'self doubt' and 'negativity'. Pat dry the bowl.
Now, for the ingredients, start by putting two spoon fulls of 'carefree attitude', this prevents the cake from rotting due to the condition of 'public opinion'. Then you add two scoops of 'smiles', it adds a flavorful charm to the cake. Now, mix while you gradually add 'self esteem', you need 1 litre of 'self esteem'. Whisk the batter well.
After that add a sprinkle of 'love'. Then a dash of 'self dignity' to boost up the process of attaining the 'confident' condition, at which the cake is ready to bake. Then to add more flavor add some dry fruits, my favorite ones are 'happiness', 'mirth' and 'laughter'.
Whisk again.
Pour the batter in a mould, ideal would be the one in the shape of 'family support' or 'healing hugs'.
Bake the cake at the temperature that suits you, the taste will differ from person to person, those called 'haters' will not like it. Use 'merriment' as the icing. 

Ta-da! You are through, serve this to all whom you know. You will love this cake , and totally fall in love with the idea of falling in love with yourself. This is the cake that I plan to start my new year with!