Best Friends : who can you call your best friends?

Well to begin with, your best friends cannot change every day/month/week/year. If someone is your best friend they will remain your best friends as long as the circumstance allows.

I will not say that your best friends are the people who you don't fight with or who doesn't betray you, because they cannot be your best friends if the two of you don't go through rough times and come out of it stronger, if the situation can rip your bond apart then it was never meant to be in the first place. 

It is usually a misconception that best friends are the people who make you laugh and keep you happy and always listen to you. But, how can they be termed as your best friends if fake friends also treat you so as well? In my opinion best friends are the people with whom you fight, and fight for you. Who sometimes lie to you and lie for you. They are the people in whom you can confide in. And they are a source of comfort and affection to you. They are the people, whose memories bring tears to your eyes, with whom you share even though the most insignificant moments and still manage to turn them into memories.

Now that, I have given you my opinion, the question is how do you find someone so perfect as mentioned above, and if you did find someone then who is it? Let me help you with the answer.

They are definitely not the people who forget about you, or who never include you.

Not the people who you have minimal conversations with. Not  the people whose company makes you feel lonely.

Not even the people who you cannot be on an equal stance with.

It is okay if the two of you are completely different some notable people who have had best friends who are totally different from each other

• Sophie and Agatha from the school for good and evil.
• Jennifer and Needy from Jennifer's body
• Dory and Marlin
• Mike and Sulley from Monsters inc.

It is okay if you are alike as well. 

The kind of people with whom you share a mutual understanding with and they respect you as much as you respect them. 

Sometimes it may take a while to find someone who cares as much. It has happened with me many a times that I sometimes misjudge certain people and they are either not meant for me or we are meant to be together forever.

The bond you share with  your best friend is not like any other friendship. Infact I think you just know when you come across certain people that they are meant for you. In my past experiences it has happened that when I come across certain people I just know that we are meant to keep each other's company forever. It is this unique spark that you feel, usually you just know. The first few moments are enough to tell you. But, when you don't feel that spark, it is sometimes necessary to find yourself a best friend , the reason behind this is because human is a social being and needs someone who will look out for him. 

The people that you have to find can never be as close to you as your actual best friends, they are more like supplements or Plan B.

You can just spend time with them to fill up the empty holes in you. They can however also be a good source of comfort and support and stand by you. But, there are chances that they may break away from you  when faced with a situation where it gets difficult for you to understand each other or if you are faced with fight. Over all friendship is nothing but balance, if you know how much and where you stand, both you and your friend will remain on the same level, no one will be left behind.

And you may also not realise but, you give a part of yourself to your best friend and take a part of them for yourself.

And no matter what type of a best friend you have, I suggest you cherish it as long as it lasts

Are examinations actually solving their purpose?

Before I begin, let me clarify the purpose of examinations and assessments.
The original purpose of examinations was to:

1. To understand whether or not the concepts taught to students in class are clear.
2. To understand the true calibre of the student.

Apart from the two mentioned above, one more purpose is to understand what the child is good at and helping in making the right choice for the career.

But in the current generation, exams are all about getting the marks and grades. No one cares about how much you understand the lesson that has been taught. It is all about mugging up the answers and writing all of it on the paper or answer sheet. The teachers have come up with a more lazier and easier way of correcting the papers by making an answer scheme, according to which they check the papers. Which in my opinion is wrong. Because, if the example of multicellular organism is written as dog/ape/fish by the student and the answer according to the scheme is human, the answer is marked as wrong, but is it still not correct?. However, this was just an example, hope you can relate, because it has happened a lot of times that the answer the student writes does not match the answer scheme, so, it is marked as incorrect, while the answer still may be correct.

Not only this, the present generation also faces a lot of pressure from their parents, and many, I am not saying all, but many parents still have that old fashioned mindset and think that their children should either be engineers or doctors. They believe that there is no future in any other field, it should only be Maths and Science. 
And because of this they keep  pushing their children towards the fields mentioned above, and the child is forced to study a subject that he/she has no interest in, because of which, stating the obvious they don't do really well. And the fear of 'what will my parents do to me?' develops, because of which they start resorting to unfair means in examinations. Now, you tell me, how is the student benefiting if he/she is copying their entire paper from the student sitting beside them? How does it help in judging their calibre?
The answer is simple, it is not.s

The present generation also faces the college cut offs, again, the parents start nagging the children. Apart from nagging they also pressurise the children. And I have seen many Indian parents say these very common lines "Arey, voh kumar saheb ke bete ko toh IIT mein admission milgaya. 97% laya tha, tu bhi padh liya kar. KYA BOLENGE KUMAR SAHEB VARNA!" which basically means that Mr. Kumar's son got admission in a very good college, with 97% marks, you should study more, what will people say if you don't.

What people do not understand is that the college cut offs exist for a  reason.
Maybe they create the cut off based on the potential of the students, 
if the student is capable of getting 97% in boards then he will be able to cope up with level of study they have in that particular college.

And this is the reason that so many coaching classes manage to earn so much money, when someone goes for admission in such classes, they don't guarantee that the student will pass with flying colours or top the class, because deep down they know that it is all based on the student's potential and his dedication and will to study the subject. So, the parents who don't bother asking their children on what subject they like, and send them to some coaching class and don't get the desired result, in my opinion are just wasting the precious time of their kids and their own hard earned money.

The coaching class is also a reason why students cheat in examinations. The pressure of proving yourself to your parents, teachers,and tutors is really difficult to deal with.
Also in my opinion the examinations should not be conducted once the chapter is taught and done with, and even if it is, they should be held once more, after the explanation of the chapter is done once again, so that the students who did not understand the chapter the first time, can understand it the second time. But instead the chapter is completely forgotten and the teachers move on. So, what exactly are they taking an examination for? To know how well the students can mug up the pages from the chapter? Or is it to know how well they understand what the teachers expect as an answer?

Therefore, I would like to conclude by asking you one last question, are you really satisfied with the pattern of examinations now? Is it enough to understand the calibre of students?



Disclaimer: all if the above is in my opinion and is not intended to violate or offend anyone. All of the above matter is original.
And once again is in my opinion and I do not intend to hurt anyone who reads this and their opinions and mindsets.

How to deal with new friends

Many of you might think that there is no need to deal with new friends. I mean why should one, they are your friends...
But are you sure? Sometimes when we are new to certain people, we tend to want to know more about them, but believe me, that is not such a good idea. The term 'acquaintance' is very important. One must learn to keep a distance, what many of us don't realise is that while we know more about them, get more familiar with them, we tend to know more of their flaws, sometimes we don't like what we see, sometimes they don't  like what they see, because of which you slowly drift away and become practically strangers. Sometimes they are sort of traitors, they betray you and you are left alone, thinking what you did wrong, why did it come to this, but in reality it wasn't your fault. So, I decided to help you to deal with this by giving you a little bit of advice on how to prevent situations like these.

1. Judge.

I know it is not a good habit to judge people, but by judging I don't mean, judge them on the basis of their looks, I mean judge their behaviour, ask yourself, "Do you really enjoy their company?"
If the answer is yes, then pursue them or else, just limit the conversations to simple 'hi' and 'bye'.
Apart from this also judge how much they talk about their other friends, what they say about them, is it something good or bad, because if they talk bad about them what gives the false hope that they won't say something bad about you.

2. Understand

In order to make your friendship work, you are supposed to understand what is expected of you, by which I mean if your new friends don't like certain people, make sure you don't praise those people in front of your friends. Well, that was just an example, there are many more things. Understand their personality and change your behaviour when you are around them, so that you are compatible.

3. Be a listener and talk less

The less information you share, the easier it is to deal with, if things don't workout. Since you would not have shared a lot about yourself, there is no scope for betrayal. Also listening helps in judging the other person. Of course you should talk but don't mention certain things that you would like to keep only to yourself and your best friend.

4. Never give an opinion

Never give an open opinion about anything. No telling what you think about others, no telling what you think about maybe some celebrities, or anything. Just don't give an opinion. Mostly no giving opinions about other people.

5. Lower the sarcasm level

Some people just don't understand sarcasm, and some find it rude, so just as a tip, don't be sarcastic.

6. Always greet them with a smile.

Make them feel comfortable when they talk to you,make them feel like you are interested in listening to them, like they are important to you at the particular time, like you want to know more, make them feel like their presence is valued.

These are a few things that I take care of when I make new friends, but sometimes, I don't follow point number three, which is why I will tell you that it is very, very important. I have spoilt a lot of the 'could-have-been-wonderful'  friendships. But, I think if you refer to the points, you will surely make a good first impression on your new friend, and if things work out, then you two could become more than acquaintances and it will give roots to your budding friendship.