Memories and all about them.

I came across this post while scrolling through Instagram that said "It's sad when people who gave you the best memories, become a memory"  and, since inspiration can be found anywhere, I am writing about this. 
And just to shed some light on my mood at the moment, I have "I'll make a man out of you" from Mulan playing in the background and am totally in love with "Look what you made me do" by Taylor Swift. 
Anyhoo just to add some more, follow me on Instagram, I go by the username @maskedhellion I would justify it some other day not right now. Now I have diverted enough from the topic, so let's get down to business to defeat the Huns!  I'm sorry I'm done! 

So, okay.. memories. Let me start by saying, all the memories you have are really exaggerated! Your brain has this annoying system of filtering out the bad stuff and discarding it, pretty much like Joy in the movie Inside out, focusing only on the good stuff. And, yes there is no issue when this happens, but you see, as humans we tend to recollect memories when we are  sad, and these extremely distorted versions of the moments you want to recollect just make you sadder.  They don't really solve their purpose, mainly because they don't have one. I guess it's safe to conclude that memories are as a matter of fact a lot like fidget spinners; solve no purpose because they have no purpose. I will criticize fidget spinners some other time, eventhough that would make me a hypocrite, I already own one. 

Now that we have got the concept of memories all cleared out for us, let us talk about the quote. We will try to decipher the meaning that is so intricately been put in it, and once that is done, I shall give my opinion regarding it.

The first part says "Its sad when people.." So, it has already been implied that the reader has to interpret it in a "aww the person left" and not in a " hey! That person made me really happy!" The word 'sad' sets the mood you are supposed to read it in. It also proves me right when I say that humans are stupid creatures who bother recollecting memories only when they are facing a major emotional issue.  Then it also gives importance to people, and yes, I like that because memories can never be objects, they can be contained in objects, but never be one. You cannot miss a box of cards because you like cards, you miss that particular box because of who gave it to you, or who you shared it with. 

Moving to the next part "who gave you the best memories..." This suggests that the people we are talking about were really close to us. That they were important, that we were able to understand them and also that they were really similar to us, which is quite obvious really, because you can't create memories with just anyone, you share them with someone who is a mirror image of you. But, what bothers me here is the usage of the word 'gave' because no one really gives you memories, you create them. They are yours and are not given by people, you decide what makes you happy and term it as a memory, and other moments you discard, in other words forget.

Next we have " become a memory." So when I read this line,  a bunch of people flashed through my mind, and yes, it is disheartening to remember that so many are gone but it is also important to understand that they are never truly gone, you may not talk but the person you are today is an amalgamation of all the qualities that belong to the people you meet along the way. I like how this ended because the word "become" clearly suggests that the memory that breaks our heart at the word is the product of our own thoughts. That it is our own creation. And most importantly, what is created can always be destroyed. But, when I say destroyed I don't mean you kill the memory, I mean to go back to the first line of our quote, to the particular word 'sad'. I want to say that you can destroy the sadness you have created while recollecting this memory.

All of this brings us to the ultimate question, what are we to do with memories? And as much as I would love to answer that question, I can't. You see, I don't know either, I'd love to but I don't. All I can say regarding that matter is, although we I may not have an answer to that question...yet, memories make us human. Sometimes they make us sad, sometimes glad and sometimes makes us feel suicidal, but in the end, those super exaggerated versions of our life teach us. The sad ones remind us that we are stronger than what troubles us at present, that we are survivors. The happy ones tell us that the person we are sharing it with means something to you and that they are a vital part of your life, and considering the time people recollect memories, you probably fought with this person, and so now you have to go and sort it all out before it is too late. The ones that make you feel suicidal, all I can say about them are that either they are very good or very bad, if the latter you need to understand that you can survive it and it will make you stronger, if the former then it means that things have changed between you and the person you shared it with, and you can't help but miss the past; here all I can say is that you should talk to this person, maybe they feel the same, maybe things will turn out to be better and just maybe all these doubts were just your insecurities and everything is okay.

That's all for today folks! See you next time when I get enough matter on the justification of my Instagram username or how utterly useless fidget spinners are, till then adieu!

And just because this will be really boring to read without a picture, here's a man riding a chicken.  

Dawn of a new day (story time!)

I know, it's been a while since I wrote a story, but since I did not have a social issue to address at the moment I thought of writing a story, it might be used as a light read.
                                               ~
It was night time, the twinkling stars did not light up the sky, for this is not how the story goes. The stars did not even twinkle. The moon did not resemble some pretty face watching over us as we slept. It resembled love, long lost love. There wasn't a pleasant breeze, there was howling winds. The leaves did not rustle, the shook, shook with fear as they held onto their dear lives for the wind might blow them away. I know, it is not the ideal picture you would want to envision. Nights are supposed to be calm. Peaceful. They are the time when dreams come true, but aren't they also the times when you live your nightmares?  Fight your deepest, darkest fear till the warm glow of the sun saves you from the torment your mind brought on you. All your thoughts come alive at night. 

Same was the case with me. All my thoughts came alive at night. And for this reason I did not sleep. For, sleep would remind me of all the things I am running from. Dreams would make me believe that there is no point running because whatever I am running from has already caught up to me.  One might wonder, what am I so scared of ? There is no monster under my bed, no demon in my head all of them are out there. In that wretched school I attend, all of them await, with their narrow minds and fake smiles. It scares me that I am a part of all these people and that I might turn into at someone just like them. There are people that I don't care about, and I should care about them. My insensitive soul has no room for those who come to me down on their knees, there are things that my past experiences have taught me. Who to trust and who I shouldn't trust, and I know, I shouldn't trust anyone. At the end all I have is me. Not those who say they are there for me, because no one can be there for me, they have to be there for themselves. 

I have made mistakes, I have let the people who stabbed me in the back, come again in my life. Even when all they still do is stab me in my back. I have trusted the wrong people and eventhough I say "trust no one" I am likely to trust the wrong doers again and again and again. I have let people give me new wounds when the ones of the past haven't healed. I have given myself new wounds just because the thought of all the impurity draining out of the cuts I make calmed me. But instead of calming me down they have drained me of all my blood and the warmth of my blood. 

No, this is not a story where I lament out my agony. No, this isn't a story at all. It is an excerpt, an excerpt from my life. That says nothing more than what friends do to you. How you would not even know that you've been stabbed when your back is bleeding. They stab you where you are vulnerable, weak and where the flesh is still healing. Opening old wounds because it is fun to watch you suffer. They don't let you heal, they reopen your wounds and console you by saying that they are there for you. But don't you know? True friends are supposed to stab in the front. With your bleeding back and aching heart, you realize the mess you have made. But, you are a survivor, the scars on your back are medals and the dawn of the new day, your victory bell. You survived the hellish war of thoughts in your mind. Tonight you must prepare for another.
                                                ~
That will be all! No, I am not upset or anything. I actually got inspiration for this from a song.
The song is called 'True Friends' by Bring me the horizon. And I just thought of writing all of this down while listening to it. Hope to see you next week!~ A

Book review: The sad and beautiful sorrows of Ava Lavender

ALERT:  The following article contains spoilers, read at your own risk!

Firstly, I know that I'm late in writing about this book (obviously! It was released in 2014) Well, yes but I read it a few months ago, and frankly speaking; no other book has ever influenced me as much as this one. Apart from 'The school for good and evil' of course! Jeez! Do I only read books with really long titles?
Anyways let me start talking about the book without wasting any more time.

 The story is about a girl who was born with wings (I know! wonderful start already!) So, in the prologue she says that she traces down her family tree to find out the reason she is born with wings. 
The book is about broken hearts, of all the three generations of her family; her mother, grandmother and herself. Her grandmother had a broken heart because whomever she loved either left or died.
These people were her mother (who disappeared quite literally), her sister who couldn't handle her sadness and cut her own heart out of her chest, her brother  who was shot in the head, her younger sister who died after she turned herself into a bird to get the attention of a man she loved but failed to do so and at last her husband, who died in his sleep. 
Ava's mother had a broken heart because of a boy she once loved, who later left for college and came back with another girl. He was delusional as he didn't know that he didn't actually love the new girl but pampered her because everyone else loved her, and he thought he should too. However he still left Vivianne, Ava's mother with two children; Ava and her twin Henry. While throughout the book Vvianne is waiting for her love to come to her, he never does and leaves her with a shattered heart.
Lastly, Ava has a broken heart too, the sole reason is her appearance. No one likes a girl with wings. Although there was a hype when she was born, because people thought she was an angel, but she was just a girl. A girl all along.

The reason I absolutely love this book is because all the characters live their life with their broken hearts, which heal in time. 
Some take long to heal, others don't. At the end, Ava escapes. I am not gonna say how, you have to read the book for that, but she does. 

I strongly believe that this book gives hope to all broken hearts, or people who are generally sad. It is amazing! Just amazing! It teaches a lot about life, in my opinion.

It taught me a few things, which are:

• Wounds heal and scars fade, no matter how long it takes.
• A shadow's kiss is shadow's bliss (delusional hearts)
• To find happiness in the most simple things
• love makes us such fools! (this is written on the cover of the book, and you won't understand it unless you read the book!)

It is written beautifully! The language is wonderful, the story is wonderful. All in all, it is a must read! 

I think I will rate it an 11 out of 10. It is therapy for broken hearts!

Just a wonderful book altogether.

That will be all. Thank you for reading! Tell me what you want to read next in the contact form which you can spot at the bottom of the page! Feel free to subscribe, all you need to do is type in your email address along side the page! And of course please share!

Much love! ~Annie!