I know, it's been a while since I wrote a story, but since I did not have a social issue to address at the moment I thought of writing a story, it might be used as a light read.
~
It was night time, the twinkling stars did not light up the sky, for this is not how the story goes. The stars did not even twinkle. The moon did not resemble some pretty face watching over us as we slept. It resembled love, long lost love. There wasn't a pleasant breeze, there was howling winds. The leaves did not rustle, the shook, shook with fear as they held onto their dear lives for the wind might blow them away. I know, it is not the ideal picture you would want to envision. Nights are supposed to be calm. Peaceful. They are the time when dreams come true, but aren't they also the times when you live your nightmares? Fight your deepest, darkest fear till the warm glow of the sun saves you from the torment your mind brought on you. All your thoughts come alive at night.
Same was the case with me. All my thoughts came alive at night. And for this reason I did not sleep. For, sleep would remind me of all the things I am running from. Dreams would make me believe that there is no point running because whatever I am running from has already caught up to me. One might wonder, what am I so scared of ? There is no monster under my bed, no demon in my head all of them are out there. In that wretched school I attend, all of them await, with their narrow minds and fake smiles. It scares me that I am a part of all these people and that I might turn into at someone just like them. There are people that I don't care about, and I should care about them. My insensitive soul has no room for those who come to me down on their knees, there are things that my past experiences have taught me. Who to trust and who I shouldn't trust, and I know, I shouldn't trust anyone. At the end all I have is me. Not those who say they are there for me, because no one can be there for me, they have to be there for themselves.
I have made mistakes, I have let the people who stabbed me in the back, come again in my life. Even when all they still do is stab me in my back. I have trusted the wrong people and eventhough I say "trust no one" I am likely to trust the wrong doers again and again and again. I have let people give me new wounds when the ones of the past haven't healed. I have given myself new wounds just because the thought of all the impurity draining out of the cuts I make calmed me. But instead of calming me down they have drained me of all my blood and the warmth of my blood.
No, this is not a story where I lament out my agony. No, this isn't a story at all. It is an excerpt, an excerpt from my life. That says nothing more than what friends do to you. How you would not even know that you've been stabbed when your back is bleeding. They stab you where you are vulnerable, weak and where the flesh is still healing. Opening old wounds because it is fun to watch you suffer. They don't let you heal, they reopen your wounds and console you by saying that they are there for you. But don't you know? True friends are supposed to stab in the front. With your bleeding back and aching heart, you realize the mess you have made. But, you are a survivor, the scars on your back are medals and the dawn of the new day, your victory bell. You survived the hellish war of thoughts in your mind. Tonight you must prepare for another.
~
That will be all! No, I am not upset or anything. I actually got inspiration for this from a song.
The song is called 'True Friends' by Bring me the horizon. And I just thought of writing all of this down while listening to it. Hope to see you next week!~ A
~
It was night time, the twinkling stars did not light up the sky, for this is not how the story goes. The stars did not even twinkle. The moon did not resemble some pretty face watching over us as we slept. It resembled love, long lost love. There wasn't a pleasant breeze, there was howling winds. The leaves did not rustle, the shook, shook with fear as they held onto their dear lives for the wind might blow them away. I know, it is not the ideal picture you would want to envision. Nights are supposed to be calm. Peaceful. They are the time when dreams come true, but aren't they also the times when you live your nightmares? Fight your deepest, darkest fear till the warm glow of the sun saves you from the torment your mind brought on you. All your thoughts come alive at night.
Same was the case with me. All my thoughts came alive at night. And for this reason I did not sleep. For, sleep would remind me of all the things I am running from. Dreams would make me believe that there is no point running because whatever I am running from has already caught up to me. One might wonder, what am I so scared of ? There is no monster under my bed, no demon in my head all of them are out there. In that wretched school I attend, all of them await, with their narrow minds and fake smiles. It scares me that I am a part of all these people and that I might turn into at someone just like them. There are people that I don't care about, and I should care about them. My insensitive soul has no room for those who come to me down on their knees, there are things that my past experiences have taught me. Who to trust and who I shouldn't trust, and I know, I shouldn't trust anyone. At the end all I have is me. Not those who say they are there for me, because no one can be there for me, they have to be there for themselves.
I have made mistakes, I have let the people who stabbed me in the back, come again in my life. Even when all they still do is stab me in my back. I have trusted the wrong people and eventhough I say "trust no one" I am likely to trust the wrong doers again and again and again. I have let people give me new wounds when the ones of the past haven't healed. I have given myself new wounds just because the thought of all the impurity draining out of the cuts I make calmed me. But instead of calming me down they have drained me of all my blood and the warmth of my blood.
No, this is not a story where I lament out my agony. No, this isn't a story at all. It is an excerpt, an excerpt from my life. That says nothing more than what friends do to you. How you would not even know that you've been stabbed when your back is bleeding. They stab you where you are vulnerable, weak and where the flesh is still healing. Opening old wounds because it is fun to watch you suffer. They don't let you heal, they reopen your wounds and console you by saying that they are there for you. But don't you know? True friends are supposed to stab in the front. With your bleeding back and aching heart, you realize the mess you have made. But, you are a survivor, the scars on your back are medals and the dawn of the new day, your victory bell. You survived the hellish war of thoughts in your mind. Tonight you must prepare for another.
~
That will be all! No, I am not upset or anything. I actually got inspiration for this from a song.
The song is called 'True Friends' by Bring me the horizon. And I just thought of writing all of this down while listening to it. Hope to see you next week!~ A
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