Dawn of a new day (story time!)

I know, it's been a while since I wrote a story, but since I did not have a social issue to address at the moment I thought of writing a story, it might be used as a light read.
                                               ~
It was night time, the twinkling stars did not light up the sky, for this is not how the story goes. The stars did not even twinkle. The moon did not resemble some pretty face watching over us as we slept. It resembled love, long lost love. There wasn't a pleasant breeze, there was howling winds. The leaves did not rustle, the shook, shook with fear as they held onto their dear lives for the wind might blow them away. I know, it is not the ideal picture you would want to envision. Nights are supposed to be calm. Peaceful. They are the time when dreams come true, but aren't they also the times when you live your nightmares?  Fight your deepest, darkest fear till the warm glow of the sun saves you from the torment your mind brought on you. All your thoughts come alive at night. 

Same was the case with me. All my thoughts came alive at night. And for this reason I did not sleep. For, sleep would remind me of all the things I am running from. Dreams would make me believe that there is no point running because whatever I am running from has already caught up to me.  One might wonder, what am I so scared of ? There is no monster under my bed, no demon in my head all of them are out there. In that wretched school I attend, all of them await, with their narrow minds and fake smiles. It scares me that I am a part of all these people and that I might turn into at someone just like them. There are people that I don't care about, and I should care about them. My insensitive soul has no room for those who come to me down on their knees, there are things that my past experiences have taught me. Who to trust and who I shouldn't trust, and I know, I shouldn't trust anyone. At the end all I have is me. Not those who say they are there for me, because no one can be there for me, they have to be there for themselves. 

I have made mistakes, I have let the people who stabbed me in the back, come again in my life. Even when all they still do is stab me in my back. I have trusted the wrong people and eventhough I say "trust no one" I am likely to trust the wrong doers again and again and again. I have let people give me new wounds when the ones of the past haven't healed. I have given myself new wounds just because the thought of all the impurity draining out of the cuts I make calmed me. But instead of calming me down they have drained me of all my blood and the warmth of my blood. 

No, this is not a story where I lament out my agony. No, this isn't a story at all. It is an excerpt, an excerpt from my life. That says nothing more than what friends do to you. How you would not even know that you've been stabbed when your back is bleeding. They stab you where you are vulnerable, weak and where the flesh is still healing. Opening old wounds because it is fun to watch you suffer. They don't let you heal, they reopen your wounds and console you by saying that they are there for you. But don't you know? True friends are supposed to stab in the front. With your bleeding back and aching heart, you realize the mess you have made. But, you are a survivor, the scars on your back are medals and the dawn of the new day, your victory bell. You survived the hellish war of thoughts in your mind. Tonight you must prepare for another.
                                                ~
That will be all! No, I am not upset or anything. I actually got inspiration for this from a song.
The song is called 'True Friends' by Bring me the horizon. And I just thought of writing all of this down while listening to it. Hope to see you next week!~ A

Book review: The sad and beautiful sorrows of Ava Lavender

ALERT:  The following article contains spoilers, read at your own risk!

Firstly, I know that I'm late in writing about this book (obviously! It was released in 2014) Well, yes but I read it a few months ago, and frankly speaking; no other book has ever influenced me as much as this one. Apart from 'The school for good and evil' of course! Jeez! Do I only read books with really long titles?
Anyways let me start talking about the book without wasting any more time.

 The story is about a girl who was born with wings (I know! wonderful start already!) So, in the prologue she says that she traces down her family tree to find out the reason she is born with wings. 
The book is about broken hearts, of all the three generations of her family; her mother, grandmother and herself. Her grandmother had a broken heart because whomever she loved either left or died.
These people were her mother (who disappeared quite literally), her sister who couldn't handle her sadness and cut her own heart out of her chest, her brother  who was shot in the head, her younger sister who died after she turned herself into a bird to get the attention of a man she loved but failed to do so and at last her husband, who died in his sleep. 
Ava's mother had a broken heart because of a boy she once loved, who later left for college and came back with another girl. He was delusional as he didn't know that he didn't actually love the new girl but pampered her because everyone else loved her, and he thought he should too. However he still left Vivianne, Ava's mother with two children; Ava and her twin Henry. While throughout the book Vvianne is waiting for her love to come to her, he never does and leaves her with a shattered heart.
Lastly, Ava has a broken heart too, the sole reason is her appearance. No one likes a girl with wings. Although there was a hype when she was born, because people thought she was an angel, but she was just a girl. A girl all along.

The reason I absolutely love this book is because all the characters live their life with their broken hearts, which heal in time. 
Some take long to heal, others don't. At the end, Ava escapes. I am not gonna say how, you have to read the book for that, but she does. 

I strongly believe that this book gives hope to all broken hearts, or people who are generally sad. It is amazing! Just amazing! It teaches a lot about life, in my opinion.

It taught me a few things, which are:

• Wounds heal and scars fade, no matter how long it takes.
• A shadow's kiss is shadow's bliss (delusional hearts)
• To find happiness in the most simple things
• love makes us such fools! (this is written on the cover of the book, and you won't understand it unless you read the book!)

It is written beautifully! The language is wonderful, the story is wonderful. All in all, it is a must read! 

I think I will rate it an 11 out of 10. It is therapy for broken hearts!

Just a wonderful book altogether.

That will be all. Thank you for reading! Tell me what you want to read next in the contact form which you can spot at the bottom of the page! Feel free to subscribe, all you need to do is type in your email address along side the page! And of course please share!

Much love! ~Annie!

Always remember it's "garbage can", not "garbage cannot"!

Aloha people! Today we will talk about you! You Garbage! You disgusting piece of garbage! Felt bad? Hated the fact that me, a complete stranger had the audacity of calling you that? Well, what about the times you say all this to yourself ? It's time you stop calling yourself that! Let's keep this a light read, I won't go in too much depth, just like a little summary, no details, no assumptions, just facts (pro'lly)

Reasons to stop:

• Leave something for the haters
• Learn to love yourself
• Treat yourself no less than a queen or king
• Respect yourself.

Good effects of not being garbage:

• You will be a happier person
• You might get more people to surround you
• You wouldn't bother about people calling you names because you will know yourself.
• You will realize your true potential when you stop demotivating yourself.

Now, with that being made clear. Let me share with you a story.

So, during the last few months of my ninth grade I practically isolated myself from all my classmates, actually everyone in general. And while I was working on myself, a lot of people started calling me a lot of things. I was so accustomed to the buzz that followed me wherever I went, that it made me doubt my decisions. I thought of socializing again, just so that they'd just stop! It made me so sad and I started hating myself for the inability to make effective decisions. And just before I was about to socialize, came the beautiful angel who slapped me back into reality. I sit with her now. She didn't really say anything regarding the topic, but understood me really well, and started talking to me, instead of me having to approach her, she approached me. She wanted to talk to me unlike all those who talked of me behind my back. The faith that I lost in my decision making, restored itself back in me. I decided that instead of getting lost in blaming myself, calling me all the things that people say about me and being my own enemy, I would rather be my own person. I would know myself, be clear in stating what I want or don't want. What I agree with, what I don't. Say what I want to, not giving two hoots about what people think about it, and whether it's politically or emotionally incorrect. It is what I feel. It is right for to me, my thoughts are flawless for me! I am not garbage, dumb or trashy for thinking my thoughts and believing what I want to. Not knowing answers to questions doesn't make me dumb. Not knowing things that others know doesn't make me stupid. It makes me human. It makes me, me.

 

And while I mentioned about my little angel, let me not refrain from sharing all the others that helped me (it might as well give you some idea on what people you matter to sound like, and give me a chance to express my gratitude.) I will not be taking any names though. I might just give them letters.

• My bestfriend, A who although doesn't meet me now a days but is still in touch with me over the phone.
• My other bestfriend, B who has an english paper tomorrow, she is the girl who fuels my 'angry teenager' spirit. She should be studying, but I know for certain she is on YouTube at the moment. She supported me when I felt miserable about myself for not being like others, and now thanks to her I have never been more happier with myself.
• My third and hopefully last bestfriend (for I find it really cumbersome to type 'bestfriend' again and again). He is supposed to be C, but I'd like to call him P. P for piggy. That's what I call him. And no, its not like affectionate 'piggy' its more like 'filthy-swine-piggy'. P has stayed with me through thick and thin, been there when I feel bad about myself, and even when I'm not (just to make me feel bad about myself by calling me a buffalo.) 
• My friend C, who although seldom talks to me (because he is 'oh so popular, living his too glam to give a damn' life) but is always there whenever I open my lunchbox.  He knows how to make me smile when all I want to do is shut myself up in a box and cry. In the comparison of people who are with you when you are having a great life but leave when you are miserable and people who are rarely there but seem to magically appear to help you, he'd be the latter. 

That'd be all. But of course can't end this article without thanking my mother. Who although is Satan most times is also my greatest strength and support system. I would be a depressed lunatic running about the streets if it weren't for her.

Hope you learnt a little something about calling yourself garbage. However if you are more comfortable in addressing yourself as garbage, always remember

"It's always 'garbage can', not 'garbage cannot'."

A simple guide to friends.

Hi all! I am back with another post! And just like most of my articles, this one will also be related to social issues that we face a lot of times. I have noticed that people are sad because they think they don't have friends. Not entirely true, so that's why today I will help you categorize your friends.

1. Recognize your importance.

Imagine, this colourful bubble is you, each colour represents a part of your personality. Then there are the two moods that Bubble feels. Happy and sad. When Bubble is happy, it as bright as the sun, with it radiating light. When Bubble is sad it becomes a blobby grey cloud. There are also certain amount of people who dearly love Bubble. Now, it is important for Bubble to realize that people who are with Bubble only when she is happy and radiates light, are the fake people. And those who are with Bubble even when she is sad, are the people who actually care about her. Bubble should never part with them.

2.The messy table logic.

To help you understand better, there are two types of people, people who matter, and people who are the trash in your life and are just occupying space. The trashy people are toxic for you, because they are either there for you when you don't need them to actually be there, or are entirely not there for you, in both cases they are not good for you.

                                                        

Visualize your social circle as a messy table. You need to clean it. And like every time you clean a table, you will have to discard of certain items, you will keep some for decoration and there will be things that you will actually need. 

I have divided these into three categories.

1. Trash
2. Golden trash
3. Golden friends.

So, now elaborating further. The trash are the people that you don't really need and all they do is make you sad and hurt your feelings. You hold onto them because you either don't realize how harmful they are or you are too lazy to get rid of them. But, it is time that they leave. Just how Garbage rots and causes diseases, these people too, rot and make you sick.


Next we have Golden trash. These are the people who don't affect you as much as Trash but, are not good for you. You hold onto them because you think that they will come in handy sometime, that they will be loyal when needed, but they aren't. Just like trash they are occupying space, that is all. It may be difficult to part with them and that is because you think that they are going to be with you forever. They aren't.

Golden friends. These people will actually be there for you, and you can count on them no matter what. A person generally has two to three golden friends, not more. Others are just trash, rid yourselves of them.

An important note: When I say rid yourself of the trashy people, I DON'T mean that you should fight with them.

The more you clean your messy table the more place you will have for new trash and probably some Golden friends. Then you clean again. It's a continuous cycle.

That is all for today! Hope it helps! Also, before I go, please do share my article and you can also subscribe, all you have to do is put your email id in the "never miss a post" section. It is really easy and once you have subscribed you wouldn't even have to type in the URL everytime, you can read the articles on your mail! And now ba-bye!

Reasons to leave your typical girl gang.

When I say typical 'Girl gang' I don't mean your friend circle. There is a difference between being a part of a toxic group of friends and a non toxic group of friends. 

So, how do you distinguish between a toxic group and a non toxic group? Well, I will explain to you the structure and functioning of a toxic group so that it is easy for you to avoid.

A toxic group of girls functions in the following way:

It is led by a skinny girl who is in the position of authority because of her appearance, society has taught everyone that the girls who are thin are the only ones who are beautiful, and the blame not only goes to the society but also to Barbie dolls, from a young age girls are taught that Barbie is good at everything because she is thin. This is what settles in our heads, and hence, all the insecurities. And who benefits from our insecurities? The girls who are naturally skinny.

Since they believe that their physical appearance makes them superior to the people around them, it gives them the right to treat people the way they want. And people like me, who are not skinny don't question their authority because we are taught to seek public approval and follow the crowd. These girls think they can have the world but frankly speaking, they just have arrogance. 

After this, these girls have their minions, there is also variety in them. These go as follows:

1. The average body type: This is the type of the girl who is neither skinny nor plump, but rather healthy and well built, these are the girls that should be worshiped, if that's how the world must function. These girls are only in the group because either they are insecure or like attention. Either ways they are completely brainwashed and of no use.
2. Fat girls: These are the optional type, they are only included to make the skinny girls look skinnier. They are not valued otherwise. Their presence does not matter.

This brings me to tell you that why they are included. 

Well, the plump girls are treated as court jesters. For the sole cause of entertaining the queen bee, they are used as an extra vote to any decision the skinny alpha makes, they are not allowed to have their own opinion. They should be equipped with a good sense of humor and should be a part of every picture so that the skinny girls look skinnier. The only compliment these girls will ever get is 'cute'.

You see, more the number of plump girls, the skinnier one looks, because people have a horrible habit of comparing. These girls are not people, they are pests; pests that are feeding off of everyone's insecurities. The skinnier one looks, the popular they get. And you know how, well due to compliments like "She is so beautiful, I mean her figure" 

And now, let me tell you why it's time to part with this group.

They are using you, whether you are an average or plump girl, the skinny girls use you to look good in public, to look popular, to feel exclusive, like teen royalty.

You don't matter to them, they don't care whether you are upset, you are not allowed to defy their opinion, and your opinion does not matter. And if that does not help in getting a clear picture then, try experimenting.

Their constant presence and need to specify that they are skinny will make you insecure of your own self. You would want to know why they get the attention, and sooner or later you will realize that it's because of their figure, and you would want to be like them, but they won't let you.

You deserve better, even when you try to be like them, they will tell you that they like you they way you are, or it is pointless living for public opinion, which by the way is ironical, because they themselves live for public opinion.

You will soon realize that the friends you have are not because they want to know you better, but because they wanna get closer to the skinny girls, they use you to get closer to the popular girls. Your worth should not be defined by the friends you have.

Your personality matters. and till the time you are part of the group, you won't know what kind of personality you have. You won't know who you are and will constantly have to rely on them. And life is way more than that.

Its good to be bad.

"And the princess got her prince" Bleeeekh! That by far is the most disgusting ending! Stories that end with the victory of good disappoint me so much! And I hate heroes and good people in all movies!

With that being said, let me now influence your opinion. Firstly, Villains are powerful. They are hungry for power and can do anything to be powerful. 

Then, of course they always get what they want, until meddling good guys come along to ruin it all. Also, another lovely part about being a villain is that no matter their gender they are powerful and better than everyone and nothing can stand in their way, unlike the good side of course, because being a female means to be a damsel in distress(yuck!) 
To support my statement, some examples are, Ursula, Yzma, Snow Queen, MALEFICENT and of course the lovely Evil Queen.

Another point that I have is that they do whatever they want without caring what people think! I mean its good to be bad than helping some old hag, who by the way is completely capable of working and earning a living for herself! 

And you have to give an extra point to the Villains for their creativity! I mean think about it! Turning people into frogs, cursing someone to sleep forever, A POISONED APPLE!

Their scheming minds are the best! Its way more fun to watch them brew their evil plans full of revenge and hate! The way they make everything work so perfectly, they are so powerful! And a psycho like me adores power! 

Villains are born to rule. They know how to plan, how to keep their power, how to destroy anything that comes in the way and lastly, die a heroic death! 

They don't just die of old age, they die in battle! Which leads me to say that they are also dedicated towards their goal of world domination.

They don't care what people call them, witches, warlocks or whatever! They know that rather than worrying about public opinion it is better to focus on their goal.

Villains don't need other people, they are totally capable by themselves, no prince to aid them, no animal helpers. They are independent.

I saved the best for the last, they are feared! I love the idea of people fearing me rather than loving me! love is a pointless emotion and makes a person weak, but being feared gives power! Love depends on what one does for the other, nothing mutual, but fear is based on how much power you have, and if you know how to use it of course.

Hope you understand that being evil is way more better than some good doer.

Being you.

Hi again.. hope you still read my blog. I know it's been a while, and I will not hesitate one bit in trying to tell you why. 

So, firstly a few days after I had written my previous article, I went on a family trip to Gujarat which is a state in India. And oh my god! The entire experience was just amazing and it would take me probably years to elaborate, so let me summarize it with the help of a few words. Heritage. Temples. Dhoklas (food item).

And after my little trip, I returned and started with school, and all the study-procrastinate timetable came into action. 
After that I had my vacations again, but by this time I felt really lazy to write, and whenever someone told me to, all I said was "I'm all out of ideas, what do I write?" which by the way, was a disaster, because all the adults in my life associated it with only one thing; my phone. And I was bombarded with all the "You're always on your phone!" and "You should try reading books!" And this advice I followed and then another outrage by the senior citizens of my not-so little family, "We meant your coursebooks!" 

So all I can say is that I have been lazy and I'm sorry.

Now addressing the day's topic. Being you.

I know! Stay on this page please! Everybody says this! Everybody tells you this and I know the entire population is tired of hearing it! But if you have heard them, give me a chance too.

And no, I am not gonna fill this article with 'do what you love' and 'achieve success' because we have all been through this! When someone older gives us this advice, this is the only thing they focus on! Success. Success, Success. But, that does NOT describe you! Your success only reflects your hardwork, or if you are the child of a really rich person and totally incompetent but still have a good job then it reflects the cash your parent sacrificed on your incompetent bum! 
 But all this leaves us with one question, what defines you?
And now let me help you! 

First, you must know who you are. I know you are thinking "Ha! That's easy!" and probably have prepared a list of things you like to do. But what you might find funny is that whatever you came up with mostly consists of what your group of friends want you to like. You don't like most of these things, but after so many years of pretence you have forgotten what you like and don't. I used to think I like to dance but I don't! You must rid yourself of all the things you thought you liked. Once you do that, you will also have rid yourself of the public influence.

Ridding yourself of the influence of others? Oh no! What a heinous crime! You can't do that! You have been brought up for others not yourself! Get used to all of this. As differing and uniqueness are two things that society cannot adapt to. And people will judge you. They expect you to live like them, the way being for other people. You have to remember though, you only have one life, why waste it on living for others instead of yourself. 

Also, you must understand that the people who have an issue with your change are the people who do not deserve to be in your life! They are the people who have always been trying to impose themselves on you and it's time to rid yourself of such nagging grannies. Let me also specify, you mother is not a nagging granny. If she has an issue with one of your changes then there is 99% chance that she right. Listen to her.

By this part you have already overcome the tough part, sounds easy but boy is it hard! Now, you must also understand that you are free to voice your opinion. And please, do not get offended if someone does not agree, respect their individuality and retain yours. Also, voicing your opinion is not "Susan you look like Shrek today!" it is more like "I support feminism because--" or "The book in my opinion was--". Do not go about creating unnecessary insecurities for other people. 

Lastly to conclude I must also tell you, there are different types of people all around. Some be themselves by socialising and others, like myself, are themselves in isolation. It is your responsibility to respect them. 
Now, leaving you with a question to ponder upon 'why did the chicken cross the road?'